So it was approximately Sep 9th that I decided I would work really hard for three weeks at left handed forehand, piano, perfect pitch and juggling four balls. I was motivated by Archie Dan Smith's book where he talks about a supposed 3 week rule and also the importance of avoiding interference. Since then I've read a lot of books about how best to practice. And no one else is talking about interference or any 3 week rule. In fact the best book goes on quite a bit about interleaving which is pretty much the opposite, where you purposely change things up. So I halfway along I stopped doing it like Smith advocated.
For the left handed forehand: Again I stopped worrying about interference and played tennis. Additionally as much of a novice as I am at this shot I don't have to do it a ton to improve. But I am being patient and continuing to work on this shot. Not giving it up. The main issue is not hitting it hard enough. But for low balls I'm getting close. For high balls I'm close to terrible. But two days ago I played a match against a good pusher (GM) and split sets and then won the tiebreak 10-2. I hit left handed forehand about 80% of the time instead of a backhand. Though because he's a pusher I was mostly hitting my right handed forehand once I got past the return of serve. (He does have a good first serve).
Juggling: Only practiced a little each day. Just my right hand with 2 for two plus weeks. When I started doing the left hand with 2 I found that the right hand is now a bit better than the left. So I have improved. But just a little bit. I just haven't put adequate time into this. It's just a matter of making sure the toss goes up in the right direction. Not terribly interesting.
Perfect pitch: I decided knowing the intervals is just more important. I quickly was able to discern 2nd minor, 2nd major (chopstick), perfect fifth (vaguely asian), and octave and seventh and major third. But just 3rd major and minor I'm terrible at. And I can see the same issue is there with perfect 4th and perfect 5th. And the solution seems to be just playing a bunch of 3rds, etc on the piano. But when I sit down at the piano right now I want to focus on actually practicing the piano so putting this on hold.
Piano: Definitely have improved. Though I can see getting fatigued with trying to play everyday. I want to try to more or less continue that. I want to perfect the following repertoire:
Moonlight Sonata (can easily sight read but falter here or there on the memorization)
Rach's Prelude in C sharp minor (used to know and with just an hour of practice almost have it totally back except the very ending)
2nd movement of Beethoven's 7th symphony (the proprioception is difficult. The big jumps on the second page. Getting frustrated with how often I still hit the wrong note. Have only memorized the first page and a half because I'm really working on the proprioception.)
Dark Eyes Richard Benda (I have been able to play the first page or so for many years but trying to play without looking at hands is very difficult. Going to take a long time to manage that I'm sure.)
Scarlatti sonata in F major 118 (Haven't begun it yet. Wanted something baroque not by Bach that will help me with my technique and really like how this sounds.)
Pathetique Sonata 2nd movement by Beethoven (Can play first page so far).
Big thing is I'm learning proprioception whereas I used to just memorize and look at hands. Goal now is to play all this by memory without looking at hands. It's much more enjoyable when you don't look at hands, etc. Once I get the proprioception pretty well I expect I will speed up. I can hardly expect it to take just 3 weeks.
Make it Stick by Peter Brown
70% in. This is about the best way to learn/practice. Best book on the subject. Most important concepts are interleaving and retrieval (self quizzing). Don't mass practice, instead interleave. Jump from thing to thing. This gets it past the short term memory and into the long term. Don't just endlessly loop a passage for an hour on the piano. Loop a passage for a bit. Then another and so on. And then circle back around. Let it leave the short term memory and then... retrieve it. Bring it back using your memory. Every time you bring it back that way on your own it becomes stronger. People consistently have the illusion that mass practice works better. But for long term improvement interleaving works far better. In tennis hit a serve against a backboard followed immediately by two grounds strokes. Catch the ball and repeat. You have to be able to recall the different shots to mind quickly.
First Learn to Practice by Tom Heany
Useful book about music practice, had some additional ideas that combined with Make it Stick I have a basic piano practice routine. Something important is don't spend too much time just playing pieces from beginning to end. Common sense stuff. But very useful. Made notes elsewhere.
Elric and the Sleeping Sorceress by Michael Moorcock
A good blueprint for successfully writing something damnit. Go retrieve such and such magical artifact and use it to defeat some nemesis. Simple short stories in fantasy fiction setting. Got to find the time.
Thank god my friend Bekah seems to finally be better. Had a very typical manic episode it seems. Lasted the average amount of time. Financially ruined but no ruined relationships and she's not physically hurt. I must say though that seeing this and knowing that her brother is in his 30's and still lives at home really brings home that there is something seriously wrong with the other sister. Has helped me deal with the vicious thing she's doing though I hate to make it sound like there is anything positive to gain from the ordeal Bekah has suffered.
Saturday, September 15, 2018
So my friend has now been admitted three times. The second was 23 days. This third time she refused to go to that place or the best place. A third place wouldn't take her for a reason that sounds more like they just wan't to get rid of her because she's incredibly difficult. She has now ended up someplace 3.5 hours away. I'm getting afraid she's not going to get better. She isn't just confused. She's like a different person. Very angry. You can't disagree with her. You can't even ask questions. I'm afraid she's going to end up divorced and homeless. And not really much I can do.
On to books.
Did I mention Empire of Silence? By Christopher Ruocchio. Soft science fiction in first person like they are very much telling a story. Vague Dune similarities. Prince but he gives it up rather than be forced to become something he abhors. Homeless for a while then works his way up through as a gladiator. Very much like Brent Weeks Night Angel in that regard. Now using his communication skills to communicate with the alien menace. And thus ends book one. Pretty good.
Did I mention the Vorrh by Brian Catling? I stopped 70%. May return. Someone said it was like Gene Wolfe. It's got some mystery going on and is pretty inventive. More impressive than Empire of Silence but not much of a page turner. No real heroes anywhere in sight. May finish someday. What's it really about? A weird guy with just one eye in the middle of his face who's fantastic in bed. Weird stuff going on in a forest. I don't hardly know what it's about.
6% into the On the Historicity of Jesus by Richard Carrier. Because of biological father who wants to convert me to Southern Baptist. Father is not a terribly intelligent man. Nor mother. Perhaps I'm much less so than I think. But still good lord, where did I come from? This book is depressing in that the evidence for his actual existence is terrible which confirms that people are stupid. Well it's depressing because I'd like to stay on good terms with my dumb father and I suspect sooner or later not being a christian will be an issue. Anyway I already knew the evidence for his actual existence was terrible. Wish I could be a christian but I can't just clap my hands and believe in things for which there is no evidence no matter that I wish I could. Or do I?
The Magician's Apprentice by Raymond Feist. It's like the prototype of the modern fantasy fiction story. But far less dark than what usually sells nowadays. A bit like TH White's The Once and Future King. But it's enjoyable. Very much so. 50% and will finish eventually.
12 Rules For Life by Jordan Peterson. A bestseller. I read the first rule about keeping your head up. He rambles on a bit much. Well way too much. Had a great beginning and a seemingly nice idea but kind of false advertising. Unlikely I will get around to finishing.
Muscle Memory and Imagery: Better Tennis by Archie Dan Smith.
This is a weird little book that cited some other good books and articles. Says really work hard at something for 3 weeks and you will more or less have permanently improved. This is certainly somewhat true. A year later I can still juggle three balls as good as ever after having worked at that for.... a month? Lots of things I like the idea of being good at. His talk of consolidation I think is important. Changing the way I practice the piano now. (much more repetitive). Disagree with his thoughts on interference. The paper he references is talking about a finger tapping sequence for only 6 minutes a day. Only partially applicable to other activities.
The Talent Code by Daniel Coyne. Meh. This guy's writing style is very annoying. Long winded and tries to pad it by adding stuff that isn't interesting at all. But occasionally something worthwhile. 57% in. Important subject.
Talent is Overrate by Geoff Colvin. Worse than Coyne. Thinks business people are something more than just lucky. Just started and may not get far but the subject is important to me.
House of Cards by Robyn Dawes. Reading because of my friend. Like Robert Whitaker pointing out American psychology is an absolute mess. Just started. Depressing. Not sure what to do for my friend. Ultimately her husband decides and he's not a reader, though a nice guy.
Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise by Anders Ericcson. This is far far better than the previous related books. 37% in. This fellow is the real deal in the degree to which he has spent his life analyzing experts. Muscians, etc. Though his deliberate practice rules aren't that great.
1. Get a really good teacher (incidentally points out studies proving business people just got lucky)
2. Push yourself to do things you can't currently do
3. Have well defined short term goals
4. Think hard about what you're doing
5. Recognize your mistakes, the adjustments you need to make
6. Improve your mental representations
7. Constantly modify and improve upon existing skills
Not a great list of rules. Anyway only 37% in and has a lot that is good though. Read about developing perfect pitch in children. As a result I've bought an app called Toned Ear. Maybe it's impossible at 45 but it's always been strange to me not having it, so attempting.
Also decided to work on juggling 4 balls. I can handle working hard for 3 weeks (which Ericcson has made no mention of, just Archie Dan Smith did without reference but it's common sense! More or less...) So three weeks of just the right hand juggling two. Then 3 weeks of just the left hand juggling 2 and then perhaps put together.
Additionally working on left handed forehand 4 days a week for 3 weeks. It's not terrible. I mishit it often and can't hit it anywhere near as hard as my right. But I can see improvement pretty much every time. So I'm going to stick with it for 3 weeks. Anyway a two hand backhand is hurting my back and I really dislike the grip change for a one handed backhand on the return of serve. I am now really crushing the ball with a continental grip on my dominant hand one handed forehand. Really improved when I went to an open stance. It's like my wrist flexibility improved. Used to be so awkward to hit topspin with continental grip in an open stance. Now isn't.
And being highly repetitive with Beethoven's 7th on the piano. Just the same one page everyday until I really truly got it. No time spent fooling around with other stuff. Though it gets boring I just keep playing that one page and really consolidating it. Really learning to not look at my hands. Feel bad for my wife hearing it so much.
On to books.
Did I mention Empire of Silence? By Christopher Ruocchio. Soft science fiction in first person like they are very much telling a story. Vague Dune similarities. Prince but he gives it up rather than be forced to become something he abhors. Homeless for a while then works his way up through as a gladiator. Very much like Brent Weeks Night Angel in that regard. Now using his communication skills to communicate with the alien menace. And thus ends book one. Pretty good.
Did I mention the Vorrh by Brian Catling? I stopped 70%. May return. Someone said it was like Gene Wolfe. It's got some mystery going on and is pretty inventive. More impressive than Empire of Silence but not much of a page turner. No real heroes anywhere in sight. May finish someday. What's it really about? A weird guy with just one eye in the middle of his face who's fantastic in bed. Weird stuff going on in a forest. I don't hardly know what it's about.
6% into the On the Historicity of Jesus by Richard Carrier. Because of biological father who wants to convert me to Southern Baptist. Father is not a terribly intelligent man. Nor mother. Perhaps I'm much less so than I think. But still good lord, where did I come from? This book is depressing in that the evidence for his actual existence is terrible which confirms that people are stupid. Well it's depressing because I'd like to stay on good terms with my dumb father and I suspect sooner or later not being a christian will be an issue. Anyway I already knew the evidence for his actual existence was terrible. Wish I could be a christian but I can't just clap my hands and believe in things for which there is no evidence no matter that I wish I could. Or do I?
The Magician's Apprentice by Raymond Feist. It's like the prototype of the modern fantasy fiction story. But far less dark than what usually sells nowadays. A bit like TH White's The Once and Future King. But it's enjoyable. Very much so. 50% and will finish eventually.
12 Rules For Life by Jordan Peterson. A bestseller. I read the first rule about keeping your head up. He rambles on a bit much. Well way too much. Had a great beginning and a seemingly nice idea but kind of false advertising. Unlikely I will get around to finishing.
Muscle Memory and Imagery: Better Tennis by Archie Dan Smith.
This is a weird little book that cited some other good books and articles. Says really work hard at something for 3 weeks and you will more or less have permanently improved. This is certainly somewhat true. A year later I can still juggle three balls as good as ever after having worked at that for.... a month? Lots of things I like the idea of being good at. His talk of consolidation I think is important. Changing the way I practice the piano now. (much more repetitive). Disagree with his thoughts on interference. The paper he references is talking about a finger tapping sequence for only 6 minutes a day. Only partially applicable to other activities.
The Talent Code by Daniel Coyne. Meh. This guy's writing style is very annoying. Long winded and tries to pad it by adding stuff that isn't interesting at all. But occasionally something worthwhile. 57% in. Important subject.
Talent is Overrate by Geoff Colvin. Worse than Coyne. Thinks business people are something more than just lucky. Just started and may not get far but the subject is important to me.
House of Cards by Robyn Dawes. Reading because of my friend. Like Robert Whitaker pointing out American psychology is an absolute mess. Just started. Depressing. Not sure what to do for my friend. Ultimately her husband decides and he's not a reader, though a nice guy.
Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise by Anders Ericcson. This is far far better than the previous related books. 37% in. This fellow is the real deal in the degree to which he has spent his life analyzing experts. Muscians, etc. Though his deliberate practice rules aren't that great.
1. Get a really good teacher (incidentally points out studies proving business people just got lucky)
2. Push yourself to do things you can't currently do
3. Have well defined short term goals
4. Think hard about what you're doing
5. Recognize your mistakes, the adjustments you need to make
6. Improve your mental representations
7. Constantly modify and improve upon existing skills
Not a great list of rules. Anyway only 37% in and has a lot that is good though. Read about developing perfect pitch in children. As a result I've bought an app called Toned Ear. Maybe it's impossible at 45 but it's always been strange to me not having it, so attempting.
Also decided to work on juggling 4 balls. I can handle working hard for 3 weeks (which Ericcson has made no mention of, just Archie Dan Smith did without reference but it's common sense! More or less...) So three weeks of just the right hand juggling two. Then 3 weeks of just the left hand juggling 2 and then perhaps put together.
Additionally working on left handed forehand 4 days a week for 3 weeks. It's not terrible. I mishit it often and can't hit it anywhere near as hard as my right. But I can see improvement pretty much every time. So I'm going to stick with it for 3 weeks. Anyway a two hand backhand is hurting my back and I really dislike the grip change for a one handed backhand on the return of serve. I am now really crushing the ball with a continental grip on my dominant hand one handed forehand. Really improved when I went to an open stance. It's like my wrist flexibility improved. Used to be so awkward to hit topspin with continental grip in an open stance. Now isn't.
And being highly repetitive with Beethoven's 7th on the piano. Just the same one page everyday until I really truly got it. No time spent fooling around with other stuff. Though it gets boring I just keep playing that one page and really consolidating it. Really learning to not look at my hands. Feel bad for my wife hearing it so much.
Saturday, July 7, 2018
My friend Bekah was basically just dropped off at the ED while she was out of her mind so when I found out I jumped out of bed at 3AM to stay with her. I assumed her family or husband would come back that morning. Nobody came back to 4pm. And by that point she been wrestling with security and restrained. I couldn't even get a hold of her family. They never answered my messages. So I ended up having to sign the paperwork and having to testify in court in order for her to get admitted (since she had been combative). And now, she isn't speaking to me. I don't know why. She told my wife though she isn't mad at me anymore, just needs some time. Still wants to go camping next weekend with us.
So... I don't know. She is speaking to the people who just abandoned her. But not me. Story of my life. But oh well. Not too upset now. Just waiting for her to speak to me to find out what she was even angry at me for. As I really don't know. She was totally out of her mind in the ED. I don't like that her whole family just doesn't speak to people when they are angry about something.
So... I don't know. She is speaking to the people who just abandoned her. But not me. Story of my life. But oh well. Not too upset now. Just waiting for her to speak to me to find out what she was even angry at me for. As I really don't know. She was totally out of her mind in the ED. I don't like that her whole family just doesn't speak to people when they are angry about something.
Sunday, July 1, 2018
Something from Skinny Puppy's Remission. I imagined a version of myself that was like undead. Skeletal. And then I picture a place. That is dark. Something like an afterlife. Or purgatory. Some place after death. Soul Cairn from Skyrim has that murky darkness. Mostly empty. I had forgotten the sound. Similar to a thing I imagined. Like on the edge of something like a massive waterfall. Not necessarily water. A torrent like something. A combination of this background torrent and a desolation.
But it's eternal. Perhaps. And that is good. And it's a meaning beyond the absurdity of office job, food, etc.
But I wanted to write stories about it. And it's really not the basis for stories. I see some fan fiction about Soul Cairn though.
But it's eternal. Perhaps. And that is good. And it's a meaning beyond the absurdity of office job, food, etc.
But I wanted to write stories about it. And it's really not the basis for stories. I see some fan fiction about Soul Cairn though.
Went back to the soul cairn in Skyrim. This comes the closest to that place I have seen in my mind for so many years. I have the music playing in the background. Replaying Skyrim for it. Almost didn't find it.
My friend, Bekah, is going to be admitted to the hospital for some kin of mania. It happened 8 years ago before I knew her. I was hoping if it ever looked like it might happen again, I could help and stop it. But I have hardly seen her since she started feeling bad. Just her husband, who is very nice but I think not terribly bright. And with her parents tonight driving back from Georgia, where S just moved. S who was my close friend for so many years and now hasn't spoken to me in over 3 years. No particular reason ever given. I was very very worried about her going down there. But then Bekah said she was better. And hasn't seemed to want any advice.
I don't think this is how it should work. But I think this is what they want. I suspect they are wrong.
My tennis is its best ever. Except that I can't take the heat. 92 today and couldn't make it 3 sets of doubles lol. Could play 5 sets of singles (against most people) if it was 20 degrees cooler. Gasquet forehand. Federer backhand. Laver serve. Trying to get back into endurance running. Hoping it will help me stand the heat. People 20 years older can handle it better. Yes, I had open chest heart surgery. But surely I can make it back. Decided to run despite the agony looming over me. (Kidney stone that was pushed back up into my kidney where it has sat for 4 years so far.)
Driving home from tennis started cramping. First the muscle on the underside of my jaw. Then I sneezed and my abdominals. At home cramps in my back. Feet. And I was hydrated. I guess I could have done more though. The cramping as I drive down the highway is a bit dangerous. Totally devoid of energy the rest of the day. But not ready to give up tennis in the summer. Only in my 40's.
Dune and partial Dune Messiah by Herbert. Really enjoyed. Always loved the Lynch movie. Book follows very closely. I can understand what a let down book 2 was, but that's exactly as expected. It's simply realistic which is what fantasy usually isn't. But Herbert had a realism to him.
Tried Thomas Covenant by Donaldson again. Gave up when he committed rape. Somehow I forgot that from before. Perhaps was seriously skimming previously. Before gave up because he was such a whiny bastard.
Warbreaker by Sanderson. I liked it and .... what was it even about again...???? Oh yes. Gods. Breaths. Enjoyed but find it not even worth describing now. A few people come back after death. They can then do one miracle which will kill them. In the meantime they will die if they don't take someone's breath each week. Other people can take breaths and have special powers they can use without dying. Yeah just too complicated like most magic systems by Sanderson. Needs to stay more mysterious.
30% into Sapiens by Yuval Harari. Going on about how we were better off as hunter gatherers. Meh. Otherwise enjoyable.
Have been reading David Foster Wallace. I used to turn my nose up at writers that commit suicide. But some of these people are hooked on medications and when they get out of whack they do unfortunate things. But being hooked on the medications doesn't mean they are without wisdom. Anyway liked that he's intelligent and talks about tennis. So I read some of his essays. Don't know that I will read Infinite Jest. Ultimately I didn't discover anything special. Just tennis musings combined with a bit of a brain which was nice.
My friend, Bekah, is going to be admitted to the hospital for some kin of mania. It happened 8 years ago before I knew her. I was hoping if it ever looked like it might happen again, I could help and stop it. But I have hardly seen her since she started feeling bad. Just her husband, who is very nice but I think not terribly bright. And with her parents tonight driving back from Georgia, where S just moved. S who was my close friend for so many years and now hasn't spoken to me in over 3 years. No particular reason ever given. I was very very worried about her going down there. But then Bekah said she was better. And hasn't seemed to want any advice.
I don't think this is how it should work. But I think this is what they want. I suspect they are wrong.
My tennis is its best ever. Except that I can't take the heat. 92 today and couldn't make it 3 sets of doubles lol. Could play 5 sets of singles (against most people) if it was 20 degrees cooler. Gasquet forehand. Federer backhand. Laver serve. Trying to get back into endurance running. Hoping it will help me stand the heat. People 20 years older can handle it better. Yes, I had open chest heart surgery. But surely I can make it back. Decided to run despite the agony looming over me. (Kidney stone that was pushed back up into my kidney where it has sat for 4 years so far.)
Driving home from tennis started cramping. First the muscle on the underside of my jaw. Then I sneezed and my abdominals. At home cramps in my back. Feet. And I was hydrated. I guess I could have done more though. The cramping as I drive down the highway is a bit dangerous. Totally devoid of energy the rest of the day. But not ready to give up tennis in the summer. Only in my 40's.
Dune and partial Dune Messiah by Herbert. Really enjoyed. Always loved the Lynch movie. Book follows very closely. I can understand what a let down book 2 was, but that's exactly as expected. It's simply realistic which is what fantasy usually isn't. But Herbert had a realism to him.
Tried Thomas Covenant by Donaldson again. Gave up when he committed rape. Somehow I forgot that from before. Perhaps was seriously skimming previously. Before gave up because he was such a whiny bastard.
Warbreaker by Sanderson. I liked it and .... what was it even about again...???? Oh yes. Gods. Breaths. Enjoyed but find it not even worth describing now. A few people come back after death. They can then do one miracle which will kill them. In the meantime they will die if they don't take someone's breath each week. Other people can take breaths and have special powers they can use without dying. Yeah just too complicated like most magic systems by Sanderson. Needs to stay more mysterious.
30% into Sapiens by Yuval Harari. Going on about how we were better off as hunter gatherers. Meh. Otherwise enjoyable.
Have been reading David Foster Wallace. I used to turn my nose up at writers that commit suicide. But some of these people are hooked on medications and when they get out of whack they do unfortunate things. But being hooked on the medications doesn't mean they are without wisdom. Anyway liked that he's intelligent and talks about tennis. So I read some of his essays. Don't know that I will read Infinite Jest. Ultimately I didn't discover anything special. Just tennis musings combined with a bit of a brain which was nice.
Sunday, March 25, 2018
As to Zelazny's Amber I am pretty sure part of my like of it was that I had an audiobook version read by Zelazny. Just one of the books in the middle. The way he read it made it so damn cool. But I have now read the first 5 or 6 books and become disillusioned. Somehow it didn't keep its "promises".
Just read the Anubis Gate by Tim Powers and thought it extremely good. Don't know how I didn't know of him. Going to read more by him. Time travel and a very detailed early 19th century England with plenty more, Byron and Coleridge and Egyptian gods and gypsies. Really good.
Started Beloved. The characters are so damn good compared to fantasy fiction. But I've seen the movie a couple times and it seems to follow very closely...
I wrote while I wasn't being athletic because of my broken toe and basically stopped once it was better and I was back to tennis a few times a week. Why? Not laziness. Just so disillusioned with my stories. They aren't very good. Feel like I need to start over but I haven't somehow started.
Also I finally got a piano again after 15 years. Just about memorized moonlight sonata so far which I had previously only been able to sight read. But memorizing is so much more enjoyable. And some other things. First page of Bach's famous toccata and fugue. Fur Elise. I really missed it. Could just happily play and play with no time left for other things. The internet changes things. I can tune it myself now thanks to amazon and youtube. I can easily find good free sheet music and immediately hear a recording of anything. Would have made things very different back in 1988.
But starting to feel unhappy that I'm not writing. Wondering if I should try to salvage what I was working on. Or just totally go back to the drawing board while trying things a bit different. Thinking to make the lead more heroic, more "Gary Stu". Avoiding any mentions of ever having been a child. And writing more linear with a bit less outlining. Ending up with a ton of junk that needed extreme editing actually really lost my interest, finally.
Just read the Anubis Gate by Tim Powers and thought it extremely good. Don't know how I didn't know of him. Going to read more by him. Time travel and a very detailed early 19th century England with plenty more, Byron and Coleridge and Egyptian gods and gypsies. Really good.
Started Beloved. The characters are so damn good compared to fantasy fiction. But I've seen the movie a couple times and it seems to follow very closely...
I wrote while I wasn't being athletic because of my broken toe and basically stopped once it was better and I was back to tennis a few times a week. Why? Not laziness. Just so disillusioned with my stories. They aren't very good. Feel like I need to start over but I haven't somehow started.
Also I finally got a piano again after 15 years. Just about memorized moonlight sonata so far which I had previously only been able to sight read. But memorizing is so much more enjoyable. And some other things. First page of Bach's famous toccata and fugue. Fur Elise. I really missed it. Could just happily play and play with no time left for other things. The internet changes things. I can tune it myself now thanks to amazon and youtube. I can easily find good free sheet music and immediately hear a recording of anything. Would have made things very different back in 1988.
But starting to feel unhappy that I'm not writing. Wondering if I should try to salvage what I was working on. Or just totally go back to the drawing board while trying things a bit different. Thinking to make the lead more heroic, more "Gary Stu". Avoiding any mentions of ever having been a child. And writing more linear with a bit less outlining. Ending up with a ton of junk that needed extreme editing actually really lost my interest, finally.
Sunday, March 11, 2018
I haven't written anything in the last week. I was away to Seattle for "work". I did read Thomas Disch, The Genociders, which is about how earth is turned into a one crop garden while other life is exterminated. Tad bit depressing. And Frank Herbert's The Heaven Makers which wasn't as depressing as the MC was very intelligent and sort of prevailed. About how immortal aliens are behind the scenes controlling our behaviors in order to make movies.
And now 1/3 into Zelazny's ten volume Amber. Which I had read a part of before. There is something about it I liked before. It has a certain feel. But also I listened to a part of an audio version where Zelazny was reading it and it really made it better. I vaguely recall being in New Mexico at the time. But maybe I wasn't. I don't know. Something though about it like while at the same time something about it don't such that I hadn't already read the whole thing despite being a voracious reader of fantasy for many decades. Too much intrigue /mystery where the motives seem largely pointless. (To rule Amber). And I ask myself, would I be happy to have written this? And the answer is no. But over and over such is the case. All the best writing I find myself thinking this. I wouldn't have bothered and that's probably why I haven't bothered. And I think perhaps it's a sort of nihilism about life. So much of the stuff of life I can't get into. And so I don't write.
But Song of Solomon. That was a book that I would have been pretty happy to write. I can't at the moment think of anything else really. Some short stories. Death of Dr. Island. Chun the Unavoidable. But that's different.
So I have to think more about this. Read more Morrison. More magical realism.
I don't know perhaps I would have pretty happy to write most of the first two Fitz trilogies.
Played really good tennis today. Using only an australian grip. Including hitting a lot of non-dominant hand forehands. Two hours of doubles. The worst player was a retired lady who used to play pro. Played Goolagong. And I hit a non-dominant one hand forehand. And two hand backhand. A one hand backhand slice. A one hand backhand drive. And hit it all OK. The left hand forehand needs work. Hit with the former pro exclusively left handed for 20 minutes afterward.
In Seattle there was a grand piano that I played a lot. Synthesizers are just not the same. I am going to buy a piano. Haven't had one in more than a decade. Want to get back to being able to have prelude in c sharp minor by Rach memorized and others. I miss memorizing music. Weirdly I wasn't good at that with the cello. But as it's almost always just one note at a time, it's so much easier to sight read. But memorized music is so much more enjoyable and I'm sorry but the piano is more enjoyable.
And now 1/3 into Zelazny's ten volume Amber. Which I had read a part of before. There is something about it I liked before. It has a certain feel. But also I listened to a part of an audio version where Zelazny was reading it and it really made it better. I vaguely recall being in New Mexico at the time. But maybe I wasn't. I don't know. Something though about it like while at the same time something about it don't such that I hadn't already read the whole thing despite being a voracious reader of fantasy for many decades. Too much intrigue /mystery where the motives seem largely pointless. (To rule Amber). And I ask myself, would I be happy to have written this? And the answer is no. But over and over such is the case. All the best writing I find myself thinking this. I wouldn't have bothered and that's probably why I haven't bothered. And I think perhaps it's a sort of nihilism about life. So much of the stuff of life I can't get into. And so I don't write.
But Song of Solomon. That was a book that I would have been pretty happy to write. I can't at the moment think of anything else really. Some short stories. Death of Dr. Island. Chun the Unavoidable. But that's different.
So I have to think more about this. Read more Morrison. More magical realism.
I don't know perhaps I would have pretty happy to write most of the first two Fitz trilogies.
Played really good tennis today. Using only an australian grip. Including hitting a lot of non-dominant hand forehands. Two hours of doubles. The worst player was a retired lady who used to play pro. Played Goolagong. And I hit a non-dominant one hand forehand. And two hand backhand. A one hand backhand slice. A one hand backhand drive. And hit it all OK. The left hand forehand needs work. Hit with the former pro exclusively left handed for 20 minutes afterward.
In Seattle there was a grand piano that I played a lot. Synthesizers are just not the same. I am going to buy a piano. Haven't had one in more than a decade. Want to get back to being able to have prelude in c sharp minor by Rach memorized and others. I miss memorizing music. Weirdly I wasn't good at that with the cello. But as it's almost always just one note at a time, it's so much easier to sight read. But memorized music is so much more enjoyable and I'm sorry but the piano is more enjoyable.
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