I was using a backhand grip that was both thumb knuckles on the 8th bevel. This kept the racquet out in front of me which really reduced errors. But I can't seem to hit winners this way. Maybe if I got my wrists more involved. But it's just so physically demanding to swing hard enough this way. Can't flatten it out very well. I don't know. Just can't play aggressive enough. Too much just getting it back.

On the two hand forehand I was putting both thumb knuckles on bevel 2. Again this kept the racquet out in front of me. Still had plenty of power and can hit flat or with topspin, or slice well. The one problem is I really struggle hitting crosscourt. I errors as often as not. Maybe I should find a way to make it work. But I basically can slice it crosscourt. I just can't figure out how to hit flat or with topspin consistently crosscourt.

So, this last time I played I switched a double continental grip on both sides. No grip change. Hands almost a bit awkwardly locked into place. Arms kind of want to stay extended. Hard to bend elbows. This way I can get tons of power on the backhand and I can hit crosscourt with pace much better. But topspin is just about impossible. Topspin is overrated anyway.... But I feel like I lost a sense of feel for just hitting the ball.

Last night I tried this and I was up 5-1 against the owner who previously I almost always beat 6-4/3. So 5-1 was better. But then I totally lost my feel. Had a few that hit the ground before the net. He won the second set 6-2. Only set he's ever won against me. With this grip I'm also hitting the ball a bit behind me which leads to more errors.

Perhaps with practice I'll get used to this and improve my feel. I did it some last year and it worked not terrible. Or maybe I should just do double eastern forehand for both grounds strokes. Can still hit some topspin. Can still hit flat with decent power. Problem is have to change grip if lunging on backhands. But I can get used to that. The other question is can I hit crosscourt forehands consistently that way?

.....Two days later. Yes. Can hit them very consistently with a double eastern forehand. Against a ball machine almost never miss. Though my follow through did rise. Was watching Connors and how his racquet ended up by his head even hitting flat. Need to do that. I have very little feel with just swinging low on the follow through.

Also figured out the key to a two hand backhand slice is making contact when the ball is behind you a bit. Which means it doesn't work for short balls.

Also floundering a bit with exercise. Now doing 1/3 intervals most days but only for 16 minutes to begin. Very unhappy with my weight sticking up a 220. This is the problem with 80/20 for some people. But also lately I haven't been doing enough of it really. Just 2 to 3 hours a week when it really needs to be like 6 hours at least...

Found a better ball toss idea. The palm facing down with fingertip release wasn't any better. But I watched Kevin Anderson. He doesn't touch the ball with his fingers. Just keeps it in his palm and turns his wrist a bit at the release point. I tried it in the house and it seemed way way better. Like this will probably end my ball toss issues.

Lost to high school kid 6-4, 6-2. He was at least 6'7" and his first serve percentage was about 75%. Didn't hit any aces but plenty of pace. I returned ok but his groundstrokes were also quite good. My serve was terrible and my legs gave out after a while. Along with the ball toss issue I need to square up to the court more. Turning sideways was OK against Chi but that doesn't mean shit. Hate to say it but I think playing him is hurting my game. Stuff that works against him totally fails against better players. His lack of pace and lack of agility makes me think things can work that can't.

Last I played Chi I switched hands to dominant hand on top like Gene Mayer. Against this high school kid it just didn't seem like a great idea. Sometimes that left hand two hand forehand looks like I've only been hitting it a few hours (which is correct) as opposed to playing tennis probably for 15 years. So I played Santoro style but really I still want to make the switch. My backhand felt weak. Just getting it back. Also I think on the backhand the Murray grip is better than both base thumb knuckles on bevel 8. Murray style I'm more aggressive. Hit more winners while using the latter I mostly just get it back. On the other hand Murray style it starts breaking down after a while and I hit more errors. But at least it's good for a while Murray style.

The other possibility is switching to Gene Mayer style. The right sided "forehand" feels wrong when just swinging racquet in front of TV. But seems to do OK on the court. ..at least against Chi, which isn't saying much.

Son just vomited everywhere. He's been sick this last ten months of cow milk. Was fine with donated breast milk. That's it. Switching to oat/almond milk. Fucking wife is useless. I say we really ought to switch over and over and nothing ever happens, just like with so many other things. I don't want my son to go through life sick. Just threw all the milk away.

Additionally I was trying 80/20 training where I just did the last 20% hard (6 to 9 minutes). This was overtraining. Meant basically running a really hard mile everyday. Wanted to try because I want something really consistent that will go with tennis. Unfortunately it's a no go. Feel very overtrained. Resting heart rate yesterday was 80 (Should be low 60's at least). Maybe for now I'll just be erratic at tennis. Really like the idea of longer hard running (6 to 9 minutes). But clearly I can't do it everyday. I'm guessing about once every 3 days.... Will check heart rate.

Playing Skyrim a third time. This time using mainly magic. Wanted to use it as a jump into writing. Want to make like this other world running parallel to our own, just in my mind. Just this other place. It's a feeling that for now, really works for me. I can see it being useful for me whether or not it ever got published. But, I know, the feeling will probably fade quickly. But, still, I will try.

Continuing Anatomy of an Epidemic by Whitaker. It is sickening, disgusting. As evil as any holocaust. The concept of helping people utterly forgotten as people do whatever to try to keep their high paying jobs.

Gave up on To Ride Hell's Chasm by Janny Wurts 66% in. Farthest I've ever gone into one of her books. Big vocabulary. Very stilted interactions. Got sick of the phrase "desert born cur". Bad guys two-dimensional. Really belabors the point. Despite the big vocabulary strangely not descriptive in some ways. Felt like it was always night. But don't think that was a feel she was going for. That, I suppose, isn't remotely a bad thing. Just never really cared about anyone. No one felt like a real person. The way the king would have 2 minutes of lucidity every day or so was just silly. I made it much further than I otherwise would have because read it while running.

The hero being ordered to strip and lie down on a cot while awaiting a massuese (sp) in the middle of an investigation in a cellar was quite strange. Not much else to say. Moved a bit slow but the real problem was just not giving a damn about any of the characters.

Now reading The Lions of Al Rassan. by Guy Gavriel Kay. 35% in. Pretty good. Like the characters. They aren't stilted, strange and undeveloped. Tigana was good. Some viking book he wrote was OK.

Feel like I've been doing that 80/20 with the boring slow running forever. It hasn't even been 20 days.... Get impatient so quick and want to pick up the pace. Have been trying to run an hour on workdays before work. Longer on weekends. And some evenings doing incline walking on treadmill. 8% Heart rate about 130. I so want to jump up to 12%. And on to a weighted backpack. It's walking that I feel very impatient about.

Beat the owner of westview 6-2, 6-4. The 3 previous times I won 6-3, 6-4. Maybe I've improved a little. Seems like my groundstrokes have improved. My serve still needs a lot of work. Was OK against the owner but it was kind of bad 4 days later playing doubles. Maybe when I start trying to jump it starts falling apart. Gets a bit ragged. Lose power. Lost my serve a lot playing doubles. My teammate (Hannah) was ridiculous good and other than my serve I was pretty good. Particularly had a problem with them lobbing it into the corner over her head in the deuce serve and then I have to generate all my own power with a back kind of turned away from the court. I put it right to the net man at least three times.

Trying to make sure to hit the ROS flat and then here and there add topspin for the following shots on both sides. My return of serve is good. My groundstrokes are really doing well. Think the slow running is helping.

Read the free sample of ordered the paperback book (so B can borrow it) of Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker. Follow up to Mad in America. Seems like a very important book / subject.