With music I aimed too low and produced a lot of quantity but not much quality. With writing I aimed too high and didn't produce anything. For so long I wondered what held me back as a writer. I think now, that this simple thing was probably the main issue all along. Trying to rectify that now. Possibly with both though far more concerned with the writing.

Kidney stone sickness really lasted about 26 days. Ends with my penis finally not hurting so bad when I get an erection, although still hurts a bit. After not running for three weeks, I'm very sore from trying to get back into it. Haven't had calf soreness in forever. Blah.

Decided to run just two days a week and then twice a week use an exercise bike and do some ab work. This because along with not liking how much time the running was taking, worried about getting kidney stones (dehydration). Hopefully the main thing is to avoid spinach. I had been eating a ton recently.

Still haven't gotten out of the habit of laying in bed. Excuse now is so sore from running. Hopefully soon I'll start spending 14, 15 hours a day vertical. Right now more like 12 maybe 13.

On thursday I started eating fruit and that made a huge difference with kidney stone issue. Previously the percoset had turned my insides into concrete. Had made the mistake of trying to eat a grilled cheese sandwich on wednesday. Left me incredibly bloated. (My ultimate comfort food from my childhood.) (The only thing I could cook as a kid and no one else did much cooking.) (Stupid thing to try to eat but all the pain and pain meds has me not thinking too well and wife drops the ball occasionally.)

Thankfully have found that eating fruit and taking advil works wonders. I had been worried I wasn't going to make it between the severe pain and not being able to eat. Now less pain, and GI system is getting back to normal. Advil does far more for my pain than percoset. Far, far more. Not even to mention it doesn't turn my insides to concrete. Quite happy now that it looks I'm going to survive till my next surgery.

Kidney stone. Admitted twice. Excruciating. Failed surgery but the stent seems to have really helped. Have a kidney defect that makes stones far more likely. And scarring that has caused strictures so I can't easily pass stones.

So I won't be running the half marathon next weekend. And am maybe done with running. Too much sweating. Too hard to drink enough to make up for it. Kidney stones are pure hell.