Read On Writing by S King. Really liked it. Straight and to the point. Mostly. Useful.

Read Daily Rituals: How Artists Work by Mason Currey. Interesting. Has caused me to start getting up before work to write for at least an hour. Getting up at 5:30 or 6 to write for an hour is OK and doable for me now. Though once a week I will have to get up at 4:45. As I do anaerobic exercise I want to sleep in more. Except for some tennis I will avoid anaerobic exercise.

Reread first 17% of Lyonesse by Vance. In some ways he's very impressive and unique but in other ways it's really not good story telling. Little dialogue. Just kind of meandering along. Almost like a history summary.

Reread first 6% of Bleak House by Dickens. For some reason I really want to be able to say I read this. He's such a highly thought out writer. But good lord this is terrible. Trying to at least make it to 10%. I seem to not be able to stand to continue around 5 or percent. So far what has happened....? There's some lawsuit that has gone on a long time and some orphan girl who is really nice and has lived a bit here and there. Not treated terribly but not super well. Not much for so many words.

Read some short stories from a Shadows of the New Sun: Stories in Honor of Gene Wolfe. Highly forgettable.

41% of Wind and the Willows by Kenneth Grahame. Surely Tolkien was greatly influenced by this? ...Yes. He was. And it's enjoyable in the same sense that the Shire was. 

Rereading The Dragon Masters by Jack Vance.
It's very unlikely I will ever write anything as good as this novella. And I would like to understand why. The villain is extremely 2D. Very stupid. One is inclined to think just not realistic at all. But, actually people in the real world are amazingly stupid. So much of the story is just this idiot's actions. And random war stuff. The dragons fighting each other and against the Basics. Vance's use of language. His style makes it work.
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Joaz Banbeck is the same hero as in all his sci fi. He comes across distant. And stoic. We actually have little idea about him. He has children. It's not clear who the mother/s is. His love interest is stupid and doesn't seem much like a mom, if she even is one. Possibly they practice bigamy. No idea. There is virtually no interaction that is more than summarized between Joaz and anyone but Ervis Carcolo (the villain) and the sacerdotes and Basic envoy. The meeting between Joaz's grandfather and the Basic many decades previous might as well have been Joaz. Same damn character.

And an award winning story.

I think the thing, the most important thing, of this and I suppose just about all other enjoyable stories, is that it's a whitewashed version of the reality of the human condition. So this way that reality is warped that makes it enjoyable to read about. It has seemed like it makes it irrelevant escapism. And though I enjoy reading, somehow I can't quite be serious about writing it. And as I instead make it realistic and relevant, I recognize that it becomes something that in this day and age at least, no one is really going to have any interest in reading.

So, I need to learn to not feel silly with irrelevant escapism. And I have often told myself that it is still of use to us in this here world. I do think that evil people don't read fiction stories. As one reads they recognize when they're acting like some ridiculous 2D villain. And escapism in and of itself is also essential anyway.

Recently won 6-1, 6-0 against a professor of literature. 6-2, 6-2 against some wealthy retired guy. 6-0, 6-0 against environmental engineer. (also lost 7-5, 6-4) And then today I played a former division one player and won 7-5, 7-6 (7-0). Little things here and there did not do well. Could have won a lot more convincing. Was up 4-1 in second set and lost 4 games in a row. Forgot to start ball toss slowly and gradually gain speed. Had probably ten aborted ball tosses. For large stretches I was lucky to just get it in with some pace. Ball pass was too erratic to really move it to both corners. Started tossing behind me a bit thus losing pace, but was mindful not to do this and eventually corrected. Missed a lot of volleys. And took a while to get used to returning his slice. Was letting the ball get too close to me for a while. Match lasted over two hours and we were lucky to be able to finish it.

But all in all, really played unusually well. Wonder if how low he kept the ball maybe helped me as opposed to Cooke throwing in the occasional moon ball. But maybe that little aerobic back and forth drill really works. Legs felt strong throughout and was moving very smoothly throughout. Almost never missed a return of serve.

He is a librarian and thinks football is evil. That it may in part be a cause of the violence in America. Super nice. Of course he lives up in Pittsburgh and was just visiting his parents.

Winning while playing well against a former division one player who was super nice and intelligent put me in a good mood.

Heal Your Headache by Dr. David Buchholz. Ton more foods I'm removing from my diet. Which sucks but I would really like to never again have a headache. And I've been having a lot with the change in weather. Interesting book in saying that a lot of the weird stuff that goes undiagnosed or wrongly diagnosed could actually be migraine. (With my neurology vocation anyway it's interesting and I wish all the neurologists were familiar with his ideas. But they aren't. And I'm very cautious about pushing my thoughts.)

Had liquid nitrogen sprayed on my head other day. Yay. Actinic Keratosis as I suspected. Lady made me feel like I had nothing to worry about though.

Started rereading Demon Princes by Vance and really I was right. Although in some ways it may be more ambitious than Tschai, it just isn't as good. Think I'll look at something else.

Rereading Gene Wolfe's torturer new sun thing. As before, it really starts a bit slow. Almost started the Wizard Knight, but I recall that got really nutty after a while, not in a good way. But then... so much he has written is really really good. Such that I shouldn't be dismissive. But, some of my music sucks. Some of his short stories really suck.

One falls into predicaments because: one insists on doing the right thing with little to no regard for one's own self interest, bad luck, making bad choices. One escapes a predicament by exceptional athletic abilities, the help of friends, intelligence creativity, special powers, luck.

Read the Gilded Chain by Dave Duncan... and have no recollection of it at all.... I remember the Reluctant Swordsman which was a series by him I didn't finish.... Oh yes. The Gilded Chain a guard for the King. A bit of magic. These guards have a sword shoved into their chest by the person they are going to guard. It's magic. The king has many such guards but the hero is the best ever swordsman, etc, etc and the King makes him his right hand man. Rollicking good tale.

Then read the Piebald Prince by the master, Robin Hobb. Only 80 pages long. Unhappy ending. Very very good. Exceptional. As expected.

And then reread Tschai. To me it is somehow just such a wonderful tale. And I absorbed it better this time than in the past. ZAP 210 I think I didn't like the love interest before and was figuratively holding my noise. This time didn't feel that way. Ends with Adam Reith, his three friends and four technicians taking off in a spaceship, leaving Tschai..... Wish it didn't end but hard to imagine how.

Everytime I try to use my laptop my nine month old comes running. Oh well.

Tennis. Just about there now. Determined the serve grip determines how much you should face the court on the serve. With an almost eastern forehand grip should just about face straight up, with almost eastern backhand you should be turned sideways. I've been trying to stand a bit sideways while using almost eastern forehand. This means a sort of hitch in the middle of my motion where I really lose accuracy. I dislike facing straight toward the service box though. May experiment more with almost eastern backhand service grip.

Andy Murray backhand now and very happy with it. Extremely good return of serve today. And really trying to hit a two hand forehand drive instead of Santoro style. Because I want to be able to hit winners and not get totally destroyed by anyone. Went pretty well today but still getting used to it. Actually lost to Chi trying to play this way. Oh well.

All the fantasy/sci-fi fiction of Jack Vance
Two types of stories. The stoic hero. And a sort of picaresque, a humorous mostly incompetent villian.

Believeable fantastic worlds told in so few words. 2D characters whom sounded intelligent making it more a place a person might want to escape to. A unique sort of escapism actually. Something none other has quite managed. Not much plot. Not much relevant social critique. The stoic hero seems to suggest libertarianism. Not sure about Vance's political views, although Thom Hartman (far left) dedicated a book to Jack and his wife.

Righting an injustice doesn't really keep these books going because the heroes are so stoic they hardly seemed touched by anything. I suppose there is just enough of a hint of righting injustice combined with beautiful worlds combined with the steel-like stoicism. There isn't really some great vague wonder. It's mainly the world and learning more of it. No one else makes a world keep the pages turning quite the same.

The picaresques have beautiful worlds combined with light comedy.

not going back and ever rereading a diary/journal seems to mostly make it a waste of time. And I knew I wouldn't do so because primarily I wouldn't be able to stand how stupid I had previously been. This is like in Kundera's The Joke he finds an old diary he wrote as a teenager and he's so horrified and disgusted by what he wrote, that he rips the diary to shreds.

Wrote that almost two years ago. Now it's no longer true as I have indeed went back and read almost two years worth of a diary/blog/whatever. At times it was painful but it was/is an extremely important exercise, if nothing else, from the perspective of wanting to be a writer. I go back now and perhaps more clearly see when I wrote well and when I really didn't! But this is largely a matter of forgetting. The goal back then wasn't remotely to write well. I was often writing badly as I just thought things out. I knew and didn't care. The important thing was figuring out some thoughts. Anyway I haven't forgotten what I was about so much that I want to rip my diary to shreds. But if I had waited a decade instead of a couple years perhaps I would have wanted to.

...
Gormenghast certainly has it's moment. I don't like quite how much detail is put forth into scenery describing in the manner which he employs. I prefer Jack Vance's method. But Peake's characters. Their detail in personality, mannerisms and even physical appearance completely destroys certainly anything by Vance (Vance characters though horribly unvaried and usually nondescript) and anyone else for that matter. They are caricatures to an extent yet still with a level of insight that perhaps outdoes George Eliot.

In other news, thank god I only work one night shift a week. Night shift is awful. Bad sleep one day a week is standable but day after day slowly destroys one's body. Furthermore trying to stay up late on my days off is so depressing. Having to still do it once a week is nice just in having a continual reminder in how much better I generally have things now.

Was thinking in so many ways I do have it really well these days. My work is so different from day to day. And seeing so many different people at work is such a good thing. And the actual work is generally so positive of course. And J and I's combined income is very good. This house is wonderful. It really makes a difference having money. In many ways life is very good for me and after what I've been through both by bad luck and my own moral choosing, I deserve to now go ahead and enjoy life a bit, somewhat.