Bad mood today, looking for a new job. I wrote to someone (in response to a random reminesce(sp)), "Life isn't so bad these days but I wouldn't mind waking up to 1990 with what I now understand."

What I now understand isn't very interesting or important but, it is the following:
1. Don't waste time working out so much. Reduce the strength training by 90%. Quit playing basketball. Some jogging would be OK, but in moderation. All that strength training just gives you insomnia. Your belief that everyone is capable of amazing physical and intellectual feats and it's just a matter of figuring out how is: A. wrong. B. means a seriously masochistic trial and error lifestyle. Furthermore, never get into powerlifting or protein stuffing. Both are bad for your body.
2. Don't take sleeping pills for your insomnia. You're better off just not sleeping.
3. You are too idealistic. Don't burden people with truths they don't give a shit about.
4. No, it isn't hopeless. Quit worrying about it. No need to die.
5. Go ahead and create an evil god or whatever that you must defy, if that's what you need to do to stay alive. For the hell of it, be aware that that's what you're doing though. I think. Although doing so may mess up the creation.
6. You can't sing. And no will ever care about the music you write. So don't bother. Perhaps take up the viola.
7. There is no grand party out there. There is nothing much out there really. Don't bother searching. Just read a ton of books while you're in the military.
8. Eventually you'll discover Chomsky. But don't forget the way women are treated by the muslim theocracies. "Imperialism" isn't all bad, although sure. Socialism would be better. But people are too stupid, that's just the way it is. And much like sex is hidden therefore everyone is fixated on it, understanding what the corporate media is hiding, means a similar fixation. In neither case is the result really so good.
9. That Ayn Rand stuff is a great way to convince yourself that an awful system is actually the best of all possible worlds. Try not to go overboard. Pick a college major based on what you actually like doing, what you actually find interesting, not what you're good at. Competition is NOT everything. In fact it will get old quick.
10. When picking a major, plan to get a PhD right from the beginning. You're too good for just a bachelors. And you can't do much with only a bachelors. Furthermore understand this may mean having to move away from home, (both for college and a future job) and there are really nice places out there that you'll be better off for having experienced.
11. Your parents really don't have a clue. Don't listen to them. If they don't support you, you are just going to have to go it alone.
12. Quit eating meat. You don't need it at all.
13. Do you really like such and such girl? Or do you just like the idea of having a girlfriend? Are you so busy trying to make so and so like you that you haven't really considered whether or not you actually like them as a person as opposed to as an object?
14. Get rid of the topspin from your tennis game. Everyday you're stretching out your strings making the ball come off a little different. That's why one day you play great and the next awful. To hit all that topspin you'd need to have your rackets restrung everytime you play. And you can't afford that. Also you don't have the free time to devote to getting a cheap stringing machine and doing it yourself. Instead just hit the ball flat and forget about becoming a professional. Also, spend less time on sports in general.
15. I'm sorry that every teacher you ever had growing up was objectively speaking, quite awful. I can't make up for it here. I have no solution for this. But for one thing, it would be worthwhile to remember that they are stupid while at the same time not ever letting it show that you feel this way towards them.

Surely others, but I don't get to go back to 17. And there was no one to help me out. I guess if I ever manage to have children it could be good to remember.

16. Trying to save the world is one hell of a burden. It means that happiness is immoral. But it can't be saved. Because people aren't as essentially good as you think they are.
17. When you get some free time, you usually start out by procrastinating. And then once you're ready to settle down and get to work (writing), it's time to go get back to your job.