This evening in passing I mentioned that dogs can be perfectly healthy on a vegan diet. This, by the way, is a good thing. Because killing in order to eat is terrible. I got attacked for saying this. Called an idiot. 41 downvotes last I checked. Then on fb I said in a science group that every online interaction is a master debate that requires citations. Look stuff up yourself or at least be polite when asking. (This wasn't tied to any topic whatsoever.) Of course the response was I'm wrong in every way with many agreeing. So attacked for saying be polite and don't need to eat animals. And maybe plays a role in my insomnia. But maybe the biggest issue is I gave up on fruit. I forced myself to eat it for 3 or 4 months and slept great the whole time. Finally just couldn't do it last few weeks and have slept bad. 2AM now and wide awake. Supposed to play tennis tomorrow also. So that is perhaps solvable. Get some kiwi. Choke down some mushy bananas. My creatinine is back down to 1.22. So that's great. My tennis game is its best ever. My back has been hanging on ok. Juggling 4 balls for 5 seconds. Hawth is a bit of a pain and Langs is pretty damn pouty. But they're still wonderful. Writing is not great but not nothing. Otherwise by John Crowley Beasts just ends abruptly. Doesn't really go anywhere. Little, Big has no adversity of antagonist so I gave up 30% in. Engine summer was the same. The Deep was confusing. A tired medieval civil war plot and a lot of telling instead of showing. That's it for Crowley. Final book of Lightbringer by Brent Weeks. Way too didactic about religion. Too many speeches. Too many heart to heart talks. Could have cut out more than half the book. Innocents Abroad by Gene Wolfe 76% in. It's pretty good but not a page turner. Impossible to summarize. Doesn't have a Forlesen or Death of Dr. Island.

Started high fruit a week ago about. Back is feeling better. Taking it slow. No sudden extreme diet changes. Maybe 200 to 500 calories from fruit a day to start. Also jogged monday, wednesday and friday for 80 minutes total and no sciatica pain.

70% into The City at the End of Time by Greg Bear. Reading it because of similarities to John Wright's Nightfall. But it's terrible compared to Wright. The laws of time and nature are broken and stuff just randomly happens and it just makes it seem like Deus ex machina overdrive. Lacking the mystery and scariness of Nightfall. Also jumps around way too much. I hate the jumping around in general. It's remarkable how bad this is compared to Wright. Also has a weird YA feel to it. Reminds me of the last Clive Barker pinhead book, where they're in hell and quipping jokes, wandering around like on a hike at a national park. It just so completely misses the mark.

In other news my wife texted my mom asking if she could look for my missing dulcimer case. And mentioned I'm having to repair the damage that my brother in law did. Said nicely, just fyi.

She of course responded with drama. She claims it had to be my nephew. And tells my sister that I said it was damaged who responds that I'm a nasty person and nephew can't keep his musical equipment at my house.

It's unusual I guess just how much I dislike my mother. I will not care at all when she leaves this world. It makes me sick that I'm so closely related to her. I hope her personality and intellect doesn't pop up in any descendants. I find it funny that she chose a pathological liar amongst other things over her son. But then as little as I think of her she might as well.

For the 4th OSC (136) I came in 27 out 40. Ambivalent about it. I was trying a new genre. It felt a bit wonky. Should have scrapped it early. Not good enough at realizing something isn't "cool" enough. Then I got too attached. It's almost good. But just off. For 137 I have something I think is better though not terribly original so far.

So in the OSCs I came in 20 out 22, 36 out of 51, 30 out 39. I deserved better each time but I wrote a less popular genre and didn't use drums. These people want a lot going on and definitely drums. Good drums. So for the 4th try that's what I have done. I don't quite like it. Perhaps it will score slightly better I guess..? Trivigaunte using Odin2. Complextro. Some good comments. Next up Hy poly, which I guess I better really figure out some drums first and foremost and then

Otherwise still writing ambient/new age in odd time sigs. Think my sounds need to improve though. Samples. Acoustic stuff. Maybe piano. And have to write more stuff using just a couple things. Like reaktor and/or Massive x. The free synth stuff just doesn't quite fit.

It seems I may have been forgetting to log the books I've since November! Or maybe haven't read much. Had been primarily doing music.

Read some slightly goofy novel about shipwrecked humams and alien snail like creatures. Intelligent but very slow moving. Eric Flint. Mother of Demons. I won't continue the series though it was ok really. Initial motivation to read was silly.

Finished the Solar Cycle. All the Long Sun and Short Sun. Of the whole cycle Urth was my favorite. Short Sun was better than Long, which was longwinded. The whole Silk vs Horn thing was drawn out so long and a bit silly.

Awake in the Nightland by John Wright was excellent. The setting is so captivating. The sense of mystery about the watchers. So dark. The Nightland by Stoddard was pretty good but Wright is a superior writer. I read another Wright novel then, Count to a Trillion. Didn't care for it. Won't finish the series. The romance felt so 1950 kitsch. And the math seemed very much like showing off that didn't really add substance. Checked out Wright's website. Some interesting thoughts but ultimately a massive blowhard who is caught up in the politics bullshit. A tool to be wound up and pointed at an enemy.

Partial reads of a ton of stuff. Matthew Hughes who is vancian and ok. Hasn't quite really caught me.

The Devil in the Forest by Gene Wolfe was very good. Not sure what to think of the surprise at the end.

Next up The City at the End of Time by Greg Bear.

I have mulliganed my OSC submission. Definitely not Chocolate Falafel. I wrote 3 songs with Tricent. It's a frustrating synth. The third is Infinite Repository. I will go with that one. Trying to now wait very late to submit. Thinking of any way I can improve stuff.

My top ten:

A Journey's End
Quiet Peace Enfolding
Space Needle Rain
Real Life Caricatures
Roller Rink

I Slept As Never Before
Neptunus
Infinite Repository
Rucker Park
"Tricent Ambient"

Top 5 are pretty decent. Perhaps the piano one is a bit repetitive considering it's piano. But I really enjoy listening it. I need to mess with Neptunus. I like it yet it got voted almost last place lol. I still really think it's a worthy song. I will really shorten it and lessen the detuned strings. Possibly knock it from 5.5 to just 3 minutes...... Rucker Park is maybe badly named. Maybe goes on too long. "Tricent Ambient" needs improved I think. Somehow. Needs a name I guess. Infinite Repository I like. Just not very happy with Tricent. I Slept As Never Before I also like. It didn't do well enough in the OSC. That has turned me against it. Someone said it was "slow". ...It's called I slept as never before, were you expecting EDM? Space Needle Rain the brass is still a little iffy to me. But Rink, End and Enfolding are damn perfect. I spent forever mastering End. (Green Eugene, ValhallaSupermassive, Luftikus, TDR Kotelnikov, Loudmax, JS Event Horizon Limiter/Clipper)

Guess I wrote 4 songs in last 3.5 weeks. A Journey's End. 5/4. But keep on revising.
Space Needle Rain. 9/8 and 4/4. Different from my usual. Almost twin peaks. My first 9/8.
Chocolate Falafel. For OSC. Not really a good one. Not the genre I want to do. Dislike Tricent vst. Submitted on 15th. Should wait till at least 25th.
Tricent Ambient. Probably should have submitted this. Again though, not quite happy with Tricent. I guess some people did decent stuff with it but I found it harsh and not versatile. So didn't want to spend too much time on it. But still should have waited longer.

I keep on making small revisions. I'd like to think I'm halfway to a decent O'Hearn like album. Maybe. Still need to improve. Enjoying odd times but I need to do more, change keys and times within songs. And more emulating.

Got 37th out of 51 for I slept as never before. It took quite a few weeks but I am gradually less enamored of it. 7/4 is nice and it has a pleasant feel. But still seems a tad slow and simple.

Applesauce starting 5/19/20 twice a day. Curious if it will cure actinic keratosis.

So the day after previous post I got vote results and came in 20 out of 22. I didn't expect to do well as I said but it was still surprisingly bad. Depressed me in that I think it was better than that. Wife and nephew (who has written a ton of music) agreed. Most entries were very EDM and it seemed like they showed that they're narrow minded. But, anyway, possibly it influenced me to spend money. Maybe not. Hard to say. Anyway I bought Komplete 12 which includes Massive X and a ton of other good stuff about ten days ago. I then redid my OSC 134 entry with Massive X,
I slept as never before.
And I edited up what I had called "Reasonable" but changed to Roller Rink. It's improved. Though still a tad bombastic and repetitive at the end.
And then I wrote two more. Rucker Park which was supposed to be EDM. Didn't work out that way but every time I hear I think it's actually really pretty good. And Quiet Peace Enfolding. I love the smooth flute sound in it from Massive X. It's in 12/8. I was hoping to write 3 songs a month. 36 songs in a year is really pretty good. (If they're any good.) I'm very easily going faster than that, though the quality still needs to get a bit better. I do feel like these recent ones are my best ever. Now I'm having some success with a trancelike song. Trying to be influenced by Paul Oakenfold.

Want to write borderline ambient stuff in weird time signature and also trance/EDM type stuff. Have recently written a 7/4 (I slept as never before), 5/4 (Roller Rink) and 12/8 (Quiet Peace Enfolding). They're all really decent I think...?? That's my one genre. Stuff that soothes. Not really ambient. But on the slow side. And I think I'm going to get the hang of trance/EDM it looks like. Stuff that gives energy. But that will surely be slower. I need to have patience with it and not get bored of songs and move on too quickly.

I for one am enjoying the pandemic. So far.

Thinking back on the previous 6 songs I posted. Neptunus, Real Life Caricatures, Stray Monsters, Cooperative Time Travel, Twilight Race and Flying Sebastians. Neptunus is really damn good. Vote results are today. It may not do that great in the voting as that competition is about complexity and making tons of good instances from a free vst. I didn't really have that many unique instances. But I created a hell of an atmosphere. And now I have found that for high pitched smooth (non-piercing) strings, what I made in cheeze machine 2 sounds better than bazille (130$), Hive2 (150$) and Minimonsta (1?0$) at least. So I have saved it as a template and added it to one more or less completed songs and am now using it on another.

Real Life Caricatures is pretty good though I suppose kind of dark. Not what most like. Cooperative Time Travel is ok. The others not quite as good. There is something missing but I can't easily put my finger on it. And I need to be able to determine what. I guess Stray Monster might be the weakest. But I might be influenced by some asshole ridiculing it. I enjoy listening to it. But it doesn't fit in any existing genre. It's out on its own. And that's a problem I guess for most listeners. One issue I think is that especially for instrumental music I do generally need a lot more instances. This isn't rock music. Without vocals it seems you need to compensate with a ton of different musical "voices".

Submitted for the next OSC is "I slept as never before".
I Slept As Never Before
Has a poem with it Sleeping in the Forest by Mary Oliver. I like it a lot. For this month (April) could use any one synth. Just had to have birds in it. Again I didn't pander to what I assume is most likely to do good. Instead went with what most generically makes sense with bird song. Birds don't combine that great with 30 different synth sounds. So what I wrote is simple. I guess not as good as the previous month but I really like it. But I'm having to think of the poem a bit to do so. Others probably aren't thinking of the poem as they listen. It's in 7/4 time which is a first for me. I find the melody very iconic and memorable. Timeless.

So then right after that in just a couple days I knocked out a piece in 5/4. Something I hadn't done before. Having trouble naming it.
Reasonable
It's very happy and when too happy I automatically dislike. Happy equals sappy to me. Thing about happy in music is that what we equate as happy is really just the most simplistic sound ratios. This is in 5/4 though which adds complexity. But still it's bombastically happy. And it was so easy to write. Thus making it feel very simplistic. I could go back and add chords to turn it slightly less happy. I suppose. Or I could learn to not ridicule the concept of being really happy. For the latter how I name it could play a role. At first named this "Free at Last" as I was thinking of my poor nephew who is trying to survive till his freedom. (Which could be any day as I've offered to let him live at my house or could be one more year.) But when I think of that title I immediately think "Lord god almighty, I"m free at last!" and it feels like a parody. So then trying to think of synonyms for free....
...I think I'll just name it Reasonable. Though it sounds pedestrian it's actually one hell of an ideal that almost no one I personally know has succeeded in obtaining.
And the drums are too repetitive. I will randomly make them a bit less repetitive I guess.

I also wrote other stuff not as good. It's important to push yourself. Wrote some microtonal I wasn't quite happy with. Centrifugal. Asked on a microtonal group for feedback. 50 listens. Only a couple people said they like it. Of course I kind of like it. But when everyone else says they don't I feel a tad like I must be nuts and feeling like you're nuts, feels a lot like a collossal failure. Of course I only partially feel that way. Another part of me recognizes the problems with that. But the seed is there. Not necessarily growing but there. There was another worse microtonal. And then an attempt at industrial dub. I'm putting the microtonal on hold except for nuanced stuff (Young, Pythagorean). I will keep attempting industrial/trance/techno which I'm not good at. Next attempting to really use my TAL sampler.

So it's been a bit over two months since I started trying to really write music again. So far I have spent over 500 dollars on vsts. Things I bought that I no longer use (it takes months to figure that out):
TALMOD 60 dollars
TAL UNO LX 60 dollars
I love the idea of TALMOD. I didn't like that it wasn't microtonal. And I have finally come across stuff that just has a better sound. TAL UNOLX I bought without demo'ing it enough. The sound just doesn't fit well in my stuff...
Bazille 130 dollars
I bought this because I wanted something that was FM and microtonal. It's a pretty good sound but it's not really FM. Not in the true sense of the word. Perhaps it you're amazing at programming it can manage. I have used in some songs. It can make a nice sound but not using it much.
Hive2 150 dollars
Very popular with a nice sound. I have used it with some success. Not quite my favorite but it's pretty good.
TAL Sampler 60 dollars
I need to use it more. Haven't used samples like I should. They take more work. It's hard in that my house is always loud. Really there isn't a time I can make samples unless I get up in the middle of the night while everyone is sleeping.
Synthmaster 2.9 90 dollars (and then it was 60 the next day)
Terrible name but sounds the best of anything I have. Just starting to use it. Trying to learn int.
Minimonsta 140 dollars...??
Love the morphing function and has a cool sound. Really wish other vsts had the melohman octave.
FRMS (Imaginando)  60 dollars
I really wanted something granular. This was only 60 while Quanta is 100 and Straylight is 200. Probably not a great buy though. I like straylight's sound much better.
Kick, Clap and Snare from 2getheraudio 30 dollars


Geez that's 800 dollars. Most kind of wasted but it's so hard to know. Some have limited time demos and it can take months to really know. Those with unlimited time have periodic crackles that could drive you crazy if you waited a few months to decide.

https://soundclick.com/r/s8c7uq
Stray Monsters- I really like it. I have vocals written that I haven't added. In part because, again, it's never quiet enough in the house. I have been told it sucks. That it's just wandering around aimlessly. Like Bach. I like it. But such criticisms have affected me and I will try to do different in the future.
Additional issues are that it's only a few instances when it ought to be 30 at a bare minimum. For this kind of song. But the melohman octave keeps it varied despite being a few instances.

https://soundcloud.com/translucenttelemachy/empphryio-neptunus-osc133
This is for the OSC competition using a free synth called Cheeze Machine 2. At the time I thought the vst was terrible. I don't plan on using it again. But it did get a few cool sounds. Competition hasn't voted yet. This is probably too slow. Not high enough energy. And not complicated enough to do well. Also the second melody sound conflicts a bit with the bass. But I liked it. This vst was pretty much incapable of drums and I didn't try to force it.

https://soundcloud.com/translucenttelemachy/real-life-caricatures
This is Straylight piano, plus HG piano (HG in pythagorean fifths for detuned effect) and minimonsta. I like it a lot. But not the sort of thing people are into. But I really like it. Enough to try to put in on a streaming service?? Probably not....??

https://soundcloud.com/translucenttelemachy/twilight-race
Originally written using z3ta+ (1 or 2...? I found both free. No longer available for sale.)
Then I went back and replaced everything with Hive 2 except one sound. It's high energy. A bit bland. Drums aren't doing anything interesting. Good enough for streaming service like Amazon...? Not really. Not quite.

https://soundcloud.com/translucenttelemachy/cooperative-time-travel
This is perhaps my favorite though it feels so fast that it's a bit exhausing to listen to. The bells at least slow it down a bit and has the slow part in the middle. Hive 2 possibly with a few other bits. Maybe my best. I guess.

https://soundcloud.com/translucenttelemachy/flying-sebastians
Originally I really liked  the slow morph of resonance I had going with Bazille. It seems like I reduced it maybe a bit much or got used to hearing it. Now I don't like the very beginning. Perhaps a bit murky in middle. Like the previous two it has bluearp doing a octave arp throughout most, which maybe gets a bit exhausting.

For a bit over two months when I was spending a lot of time demo'ing/acquiring. I managed to write 6 I think decent songs. (And others that aren't so good. A couple blah microtonal and an ambient that is sort of soothing but doesn't compare well to others out there. And many more not completed..) Compared to what I did before I think they're an improvement. But not good enough. Not even close. Maybe entering the OSC each month will help me. Need more instances. More variation and better sounding drums. More variations in volume and how much is happening. And VOCALS!

My nephew is into music and has a 17 year old friend that thinks he's some kind of hotshot composer/musician. I like some of his music though I like mine better. I told him one of his songs I didn't care for it (I was nice about it) and he responded a bit like a nut trashing me as a composer, going on and on about how I had no idea what I was doing and sounded absolutely terrible. He then attempted suicide for at least the 3rd time a few hours later (I hope it was unrelated but I do wonder if guilt played a role, along with the harmful anti-depressants he's on and just not being super smart... His mom says he should stop the medications and he continues them because he hates her....). Music is a subjective. It only bothers me a little having mine ridiculed. I do think it can improve certainly. Will keep trying.

....and I changed my mind. Bazille maybe isn't so good for FM. Demo'd FM8. Sounds so much better and does correct ratios like Dexed. Bazille does a lot of junky sounds when I try FM and doesn't have the ratios. Fm8 and Dexed aren't full microtonal but Zebra2 is and it appears to be much better for FM than Bazille.

As to tal uno lx, bazille does those sort of sounds better and also repros. Also hive 2, seems better. Though I shouldn't have bought it.

I downloaded all my old computer music onto new. Didn't go well. A lot of song files won't open because certain vsts won't transfer. And it seems I deleted all the song files I most wanted. Almost all the microtonal and the good piano. I think i used z3ta+... And my favorite. "Yeah I heard it."

I think I can recreate it... but I would like to know what synth that was. I may have only used it once.

I was happier playing piano. The recording music is frustrating and ultimately harder/more time consuming and so far more expensive (spent about 400 so far and it's mostly probably bad buys) and less rewarding.

I know the end result will be silence. But I wan't something I believe enough in to really push, try to get out on the big streaming sites.

Played great tennis this weekend.
Ball toss is from right to left. Keep racquet faced closed throughout forehand.

One FM, one subtractive and one sampler all with full microtonal capabilities and of course good sound. Additionally no big companies if possible. And yes it is possible. TAL Sampler, UNO LX and Bazille. And lots of fx etc.

I was using TALMOD and Dexed but neither does microtonal. Not sure unolx can replace it by itself... will see. Certainly sounds good though. So now learning bazille which is cool. More possibilities than Dexed and seems to be capable of the same sounds. Finding I like "FM" more.

Chorus patches layered on drums seem good. Possibly also for vocoder. Hard to say. Some promising vocoder sounds but sometimes not quite good enough.

Using Sevish scale workshop for creating tuning temperaments. Wrote a couple incomplete things that sound good lately. Including some vocals, vocoder and not that are better than before.

I don't have time for this and piano. I will attempt to mostly maintain somehow.

I feel mortal. And that something bad will eventually happen at work. Or not but probably will still die. Hope I get a couple more decades.

Much that I failed at to varying degrees with electronic music I'm trying again at now. It has been 5 to 8 years ago that I gradually gave up.

Some new plugins are the TAL stuff along with Tunefish4. This is based off of listening to KVR one synth monthly challenge for last ten plus years along with numerous best plugin lists. At first I was thinking u-he along with crystal but actually there is something special about the first mentioned imo.

There is new tech out now. Drums are easier. Useful books more readily available. CPU is not an issue. Nor is money really. Also I'm satisfied that hardware isn't some holy grail.

I will figure out low latency midi/audio in on my gaming computer damnit. Having much harder time than previous computers. And I will get a vocoder working. And a sampler in the true sense.
I will write better stuff. Less repetitive. Read some mixing books. Possibly the 500 piano hours will help.

As to piano in attempting to increase my "storage capacity" I'm rotating through 3 days separate days of repetoire. Mostly improving stuff and reremembering past stuff. I have about 10 memorized and another 5 half memorized. I feel like my ability to improvise is improving by making educated guesses as to what comes next.