Thought about dying a hell of a lot today. The whole low sperm thing seems to have upset me a bit. And/or having to give up alcohol, and eating fish. Yuch. Dunno. Thought about death too much. What more does this life hold for me between here and death anyway? Possibly not much of anything. I know it's coming eventually. Something quite bad's going to happen eventually. (sigh) Although I can think of worse things than dying.

Also somewhat unhappy with research meeting today. I find it reassuring to think my bosses intelligent. Not reassured so much today.

But then turned happy this evening. For no good reason. Perhaps because there was some actual sun today and it shown upon me. Who knows? My unconscious knows. Do I really want to know? I guess not. Everything would unravel then. Just thinking about it makes me want to have a beer. Not as some stereotype, but actually really wanting to go have (a couple) beers. But I can't.

All this beer and wine I've been brewing and now I can't drink it.