So it's been a bit over two months since I started trying to really write music again. So far I have spent over 500 dollars on vsts. Things I bought that I no longer use (it takes months to figure that out):
TALMOD 60 dollars
TAL UNO LX 60 dollars
I love the idea of TALMOD. I didn't like that it wasn't microtonal. And I have finally come across stuff that just has a better sound. TAL UNOLX I bought without demo'ing it enough. The sound just doesn't fit well in my stuff...
Bazille 130 dollars
I bought this because I wanted something that was FM and microtonal. It's a pretty good sound but it's not really FM. Not in the true sense of the word. Perhaps it you're amazing at programming it can manage. I have used in some songs. It can make a nice sound but not using it much.
Hive2 150 dollars
Very popular with a nice sound. I have used it with some success. Not quite my favorite but it's pretty good.
TAL Sampler 60 dollars
I need to use it more. Haven't used samples like I should. They take more work. It's hard in that my house is always loud. Really there isn't a time I can make samples unless I get up in the middle of the night while everyone is sleeping.
Synthmaster 2.9 90 dollars (and then it was 60 the next day)
Terrible name but sounds the best of anything I have. Just starting to use it. Trying to learn int.
Minimonsta 140 dollars...??
Love the morphing function and has a cool sound. Really wish other vsts had the melohman octave.
FRMS (Imaginando)  60 dollars
I really wanted something granular. This was only 60 while Quanta is 100 and Straylight is 200. Probably not a great buy though. I like straylight's sound much better.
Kick, Clap and Snare from 2getheraudio 30 dollars


Geez that's 800 dollars. Most kind of wasted but it's so hard to know. Some have limited time demos and it can take months to really know. Those with unlimited time have periodic crackles that could drive you crazy if you waited a few months to decide.

https://soundclick.com/r/s8c7uq
Stray Monsters- I really like it. I have vocals written that I haven't added. In part because, again, it's never quiet enough in the house. I have been told it sucks. That it's just wandering around aimlessly. Like Bach. I like it. But such criticisms have affected me and I will try to do different in the future.
Additional issues are that it's only a few instances when it ought to be 30 at a bare minimum. For this kind of song. But the melohman octave keeps it varied despite being a few instances.

https://soundcloud.com/translucenttelemachy/empphryio-neptunus-osc133
This is for the OSC competition using a free synth called Cheeze Machine 2. At the time I thought the vst was terrible. I don't plan on using it again. But it did get a few cool sounds. Competition hasn't voted yet. This is probably too slow. Not high enough energy. And not complicated enough to do well. Also the second melody sound conflicts a bit with the bass. But I liked it. This vst was pretty much incapable of drums and I didn't try to force it.

https://soundcloud.com/translucenttelemachy/real-life-caricatures
This is Straylight piano, plus HG piano (HG in pythagorean fifths for detuned effect) and minimonsta. I like it a lot. But not the sort of thing people are into. But I really like it. Enough to try to put in on a streaming service?? Probably not....??

https://soundcloud.com/translucenttelemachy/twilight-race
Originally written using z3ta+ (1 or 2...? I found both free. No longer available for sale.)
Then I went back and replaced everything with Hive 2 except one sound. It's high energy. A bit bland. Drums aren't doing anything interesting. Good enough for streaming service like Amazon...? Not really. Not quite.

https://soundcloud.com/translucenttelemachy/cooperative-time-travel
This is perhaps my favorite though it feels so fast that it's a bit exhausing to listen to. The bells at least slow it down a bit and has the slow part in the middle. Hive 2 possibly with a few other bits. Maybe my best. I guess.

https://soundcloud.com/translucenttelemachy/flying-sebastians
Originally I really liked  the slow morph of resonance I had going with Bazille. It seems like I reduced it maybe a bit much or got used to hearing it. Now I don't like the very beginning. Perhaps a bit murky in middle. Like the previous two it has bluearp doing a octave arp throughout most, which maybe gets a bit exhausting.

For a bit over two months when I was spending a lot of time demo'ing/acquiring. I managed to write 6 I think decent songs. (And others that aren't so good. A couple blah microtonal and an ambient that is sort of soothing but doesn't compare well to others out there. And many more not completed..) Compared to what I did before I think they're an improvement. But not good enough. Not even close. Maybe entering the OSC each month will help me. Need more instances. More variation and better sounding drums. More variations in volume and how much is happening. And VOCALS!

My nephew is into music and has a 17 year old friend that thinks he's some kind of hotshot composer/musician. I like some of his music though I like mine better. I told him one of his songs I didn't care for it (I was nice about it) and he responded a bit like a nut trashing me as a composer, going on and on about how I had no idea what I was doing and sounded absolutely terrible. He then attempted suicide for at least the 3rd time a few hours later (I hope it was unrelated but I do wonder if guilt played a role, along with the harmful anti-depressants he's on and just not being super smart... His mom says he should stop the medications and he continues them because he hates her....). Music is a subjective. It only bothers me a little having mine ridiculed. I do think it can improve certainly. Will keep trying.