I want to fix the evil in this world. So when people do evil things to me I want to understand why. Of course such people generally do not want to speak to you. So you're left not understanding why, at least not for certain, not exactly. You can guess. Jealousy. Misjudgement. Perfect selfishness. Unable to face that they were wrong for some reason. Desperately trying to conceal something else... But you can't know for certain. And it can be a puzzle you just keep trying to understand. Trying and trying. And so you spend so much time thinking about this ugly thing. And some of that time is spent feeling a combination of amazement and moral outrage.

Sometimes you just have to accept that you will never really know why. You don't have adequate information to work with. And stop trying to solve the puzzle.