In other things in my life which I'll forget, today my son and I had our first birthday. He later went up the stairs on his own which is kind of good for exactly 1 year old. Actually I'm sure he could have done that a while ago but I never let him try. Also wandered the whole house walking around (while I made sure he didn't stick anything in his mouth) without ever coming close to falling. Also sort of almost throwing a ball already. And really seems to like Children of the Sun. Stops and just listens when I play it. Has the same reaction to a few bits of music on TV here and there.

My mother came over and rehashed same crap. Now sister just texted apologizing. Just 9 months later. I've said all along that if they apologized, I would accept their apologies. But I must admit here at least that I was hoping they wouldn't apologize. Because I'm really much happier having nothing to do with them. It's been endlessly miserable. I have no good memories of them.

At all.

The whole damn way. 40 years. No good memories. And even worse is my sister's husband. If my stepfather ever apologizes they'll just go back to trying to force me to be around him. And I truly want nothing to do with. There's something seriously not right there. The farther I can keep myself and my son and wife from him, the better. And so they'll just go on and on and on and on and on. Or at least that's what they did before, along with so many other things. Truly absolute hell. I have absolutely nothing in common with these people. Most especially not the same morals. Being forced to spend my life with them has been negative in a way which is just beyond words. If they all apologize, I may have to accept and then more far away.

Planning on moving in a few years anyway. My son can't grow up here. It's so important to have friends when growing up. Friends that are at least somewhat close to your intellectual level. I will not let his life be like mine was.

Also may need open heart surgery soon to fix a congenital condition that's been looming over my head since I was 10. Finally may actually happen. I was hoping I was some kind of special and it never would, considering they at first said I would have to have surgery by the age of 15. Not bothering to worry about it as it won't help any. Am bringing back the fruit smoothies to try to reduce inflammation as it can make aneurysms worse. But I feel fine. Feel more or less as good at 43 as I did at 23. I guess I don't sleep as deeply. Don't really sleep in anymore. And I've had all those headache issues (although none since reading Buchholz's book.) But I feel good. Don't feel like an old guy. Definitely don't play tennis like an old guy. The aortic aneurysm worries me less than the heart valve. Getting that replaced would mean long term issues.

Anyway I spend my free time watching my son. Not getting anything much else done. Reading some fantasy fiction.