I need a world that has beauty. That I'd like to actually go to. At the same time that it has strife....
Out and out dystopia is off the table, at least to start with... That, at least combined with fear of failure, makes incredibly dark dystopian stuff beyond me. Just don't want to go back to it day after day.
---
In the ruined abandoned remains of a once magnificent city a ghost sobs forever. Somehow tied to Worlock-SP.
Had this story idea of person like in a concentration camp or something torturous who somehow develops some strange possibly pyschic connections with someone
That other relates back to SP's Glass Houses. The red plain. He must be doing something there. I suppose he's trying to not starve to death or get killed. He's not human. Anymore
A ghost, I suppose, invisible I guess. Such pain that like the chronic pain sufferers he's sort of zombiefied. And he's trying to return to the world. By some painstaking difficult process.
---
All these ideas are so negative. Unhappiness may spark creativity. But it's just sparks. To actually get keep a fire going, it's exactly the wrong thing. Creativity must ultimately have something positive fueling it.
Monday, March 25, 2013
I took two bites of a pecan tazzy last night. I think there must be peanuts lurking in there somehow. Got a migraine for the first time in months. I wonder if extremely hard runs make me more susceptible. Definitely did that yesterday for the first time in a while. Cooper's Rock 10K. Extremely hilly. Too hilly. Didn't care for that much up and down. Disliked the downhills as much even as they were too steep downhill. Might have to not do that one next year.
Being sick, I pulled out the Dark Crystal for close to the hundredth time. Tried to say the lines ahead of time. But still manage to miss so much. And hypothesize this is related to not being a writer really. That so much detail I don't remember. And why don't I remember it? Because I'm so critical. Because I don't just soak it all in. I critique constantly and reject stuff. Maybe maybe not.
"Another world, another time,.....
For the crystal cracked and a single shard was lost and strife ruled the land.
whimper, whimper, "I hate your whimper"
The skeksis with their....
They gather..... Today the ceremony brings no comfort. An emperor lies dying.
He is still alive. He is still emperor.
Bow! Down!
No! I'm still emperor. I'm.... I'm... I'm... Ahhh!
Chamberlain you should be emperor. Yes it's time to make my move!
It should be me! Chamberlain No! Stop! You can't!
Get back spit head!
I challenge. Trial by sword!
Hmmm trial sword!
Yes, me! The emperor! Now, bow down to me!
-----------------
I should have told you these things long ago and now there isn't time.
Jen, we may meet again in another world, but not in this one.
Wait, don't leave me.
Accept these gifts, accept them serenely.
Give strength to Jen's quest.
I can't do this! OK I will do this!
Hmmm, look like gelfling. But can't be gelfling! garthim kill them all. Are you gelfling!
Yes, I'm looking for Ogra.
...Are you afraid of me? Think Im going to eat you? Put him down. Boushay boushay.
Another world, another time. In the age of wonder. A 1000 years ago this land was green and good until the crystal cracked. For a single piece was lost. A shard of the crystal. Then strife began. And two new races appeared. The cruel Skeksis. The gentle Mystics. Here in the castle of the crystal. The Skeksis took control.
Now the Skeksis gather in the sacred chamber where the crystal hangs above a shaft of air and fire. The skeksis with their hard and twisted bodies. Their harsh and twisted wills. For a thousand years they have ruled. Yet now there are only ten. A dying race, ruled by a dying emperor, imprisoned within themselves in a dying land. Today once more they gather at the crystal as the first sun climbs to its peak. For this is the way of the skeksis. As they ravage the land, so to they learn to draw new life from the sun. Today once more they will replenish themselves. Cheat death again, through the power of their source, their treasure, their fate, the dark crystal.
But today the ceremony of the sun gives no comfort. Today the emperor lies dying. Today a new emperor must seize the throne.
A thousand years ago the crystal cracked. And here far from the castle, the race of mystic came to live in a dream of peace. Their ways were the gentle ways of natural wizards. Yet now there are only ten. A dying race numbly rehearsing the ancient ways in a blur of forgetfullness. But today the ritual gives no comfort. Today the wisest of the mystics lies dying. Today they summon the one who must save them.
Ahhhh, AHHHHH, Ahhhhhhh, Ohhhhhhh, Ohhhhhh, Ahhhhhh, Ohhhh, Ummmmm, Ohhhhhhh.
Flute playing begins.
In the valley of the mystic their lives a gelflin Jen, The skeksis killed his family destroyed his clan. Only Jen survived to be raised by the wisest of the mystics. But there is a prophecy. A thousand years have past and now once more the world must go into a time of testing. Now it must be healed or pass forever into the rule of evil. At this time Jen is the chosen one. Today Jen's pipe gives no comfort for today his master lies dying. And a journey must begin. The journey of Jen.
Thunder and wind. Reoccuring theme song.
Master!? At the time when three suns meet.
Master what's wrong?
You are in danger Gelfling and I must leave you.
Leave me?
Master? No!
Gelfling I have told you of the Skeksis.
The Skeksis killed my mother and father.
The story runs deeper than you know and you are part of it.
I don't understand.
The skeksis will vow to destroy you for the prophecy says you must find the shard. The crystal shard.
The crystal shard?
To save our world you (DVD glitches....)
Being sick, I pulled out the Dark Crystal for close to the hundredth time. Tried to say the lines ahead of time. But still manage to miss so much. And hypothesize this is related to not being a writer really. That so much detail I don't remember. And why don't I remember it? Because I'm so critical. Because I don't just soak it all in. I critique constantly and reject stuff. Maybe maybe not.
"Another world, another time,.....
For the crystal cracked and a single shard was lost and strife ruled the land.
whimper, whimper, "I hate your whimper"
The skeksis with their....
They gather..... Today the ceremony brings no comfort. An emperor lies dying.
He is still alive. He is still emperor.
Bow! Down!
No! I'm still emperor. I'm.... I'm... I'm... Ahhh!
Chamberlain you should be emperor. Yes it's time to make my move!
It should be me! Chamberlain No! Stop! You can't!
Get back spit head!
I challenge. Trial by sword!
Hmmm trial sword!
Yes, me! The emperor! Now, bow down to me!
-----------------
I should have told you these things long ago and now there isn't time.
Jen, we may meet again in another world, but not in this one.
Wait, don't leave me.
Accept these gifts, accept them serenely.
Give strength to Jen's quest.
I can't do this! OK I will do this!
Hmmm, look like gelfling. But can't be gelfling! garthim kill them all. Are you gelfling!
Yes, I'm looking for Ogra.
...Are you afraid of me? Think Im going to eat you? Put him down. Boushay boushay.
Another world, another time. In the age of wonder. A 1000 years ago this land was green and good until the crystal cracked. For a single piece was lost. A shard of the crystal. Then strife began. And two new races appeared. The cruel Skeksis. The gentle Mystics. Here in the castle of the crystal. The Skeksis took control.
Now the Skeksis gather in the sacred chamber where the crystal hangs above a shaft of air and fire. The skeksis with their hard and twisted bodies. Their harsh and twisted wills. For a thousand years they have ruled. Yet now there are only ten. A dying race, ruled by a dying emperor, imprisoned within themselves in a dying land. Today once more they gather at the crystal as the first sun climbs to its peak. For this is the way of the skeksis. As they ravage the land, so to they learn to draw new life from the sun. Today once more they will replenish themselves. Cheat death again, through the power of their source, their treasure, their fate, the dark crystal.
But today the ceremony of the sun gives no comfort. Today the emperor lies dying. Today a new emperor must seize the throne.
A thousand years ago the crystal cracked. And here far from the castle, the race of mystic came to live in a dream of peace. Their ways were the gentle ways of natural wizards. Yet now there are only ten. A dying race numbly rehearsing the ancient ways in a blur of forgetfullness. But today the ritual gives no comfort. Today the wisest of the mystics lies dying. Today they summon the one who must save them.
Ahhhh, AHHHHH, Ahhhhhhh, Ohhhhhhh, Ohhhhhh, Ahhhhhh, Ohhhh, Ummmmm, Ohhhhhhh.
Flute playing begins.
In the valley of the mystic their lives a gelflin Jen, The skeksis killed his family destroyed his clan. Only Jen survived to be raised by the wisest of the mystics. But there is a prophecy. A thousand years have past and now once more the world must go into a time of testing. Now it must be healed or pass forever into the rule of evil. At this time Jen is the chosen one. Today Jen's pipe gives no comfort for today his master lies dying. And a journey must begin. The journey of Jen.
Thunder and wind. Reoccuring theme song.
Master!? At the time when three suns meet.
Master what's wrong?
You are in danger Gelfling and I must leave you.
Leave me?
Master? No!
Gelfling I have told you of the Skeksis.
The Skeksis killed my mother and father.
The story runs deeper than you know and you are part of it.
I don't understand.
The skeksis will vow to destroy you for the prophecy says you must find the shard. The crystal shard.
The crystal shard?
To save our world you (DVD glitches....)
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Cried and cried while finishing Shardik. It was wonderful. I love crying at make believe.
The Stars My Destination is supposedly a top ten all time in sci-fi. I was not impressed. Excepting Vance, who doesn't count, I don't think sci-fi has ever really moved me.
In other news have my first race of the year tomorrow. My knee doesn't hurt. But it's not right. I doubt I'll break 8 minute pace tomorrow for this 10k but it will be a celebration of (more or less) good health. Have only been running 15 to 20 miles a week and not very fast. It doesn't hurt but it's not right and if I pushed it I know it would get worse. Might have to try forefoot running.
Today it was 50 outside and not supposed to get really cold next few days. Never have I wanted spring more. Ordered a cold hardy fig tree. Planted grapevines recently. Fish are starting to eat, even the koy a bit. The goldfish will eat whenever there's no ice.
In retrospect I killed a few trees not understanding that if the soil is hard clay with awful drainage, it's no good at all to dig a hole and use good soil in the hole. Just turns into a small pond and the roots rot. Have to use raised beds. Killed two trees this way. A third one I think will eventually die from deer antlers. The deer even eat the bamboo leaves.
Still there is D and S. How strange that is...
Things can stretch I think.
Played Handel's Largo today. The tune can't seem to stay in my head. It's just very different somehow. Want it to become ingrained. Not sure what it is about it.
The Stars My Destination is supposedly a top ten all time in sci-fi. I was not impressed. Excepting Vance, who doesn't count, I don't think sci-fi has ever really moved me.
In other news have my first race of the year tomorrow. My knee doesn't hurt. But it's not right. I doubt I'll break 8 minute pace tomorrow for this 10k but it will be a celebration of (more or less) good health. Have only been running 15 to 20 miles a week and not very fast. It doesn't hurt but it's not right and if I pushed it I know it would get worse. Might have to try forefoot running.
Today it was 50 outside and not supposed to get really cold next few days. Never have I wanted spring more. Ordered a cold hardy fig tree. Planted grapevines recently. Fish are starting to eat, even the koy a bit. The goldfish will eat whenever there's no ice.
In retrospect I killed a few trees not understanding that if the soil is hard clay with awful drainage, it's no good at all to dig a hole and use good soil in the hole. Just turns into a small pond and the roots rot. Have to use raised beds. Killed two trees this way. A third one I think will eventually die from deer antlers. The deer even eat the bamboo leaves.
Still there is D and S. How strange that is...
Things can stretch I think.
Played Handel's Largo today. The tune can't seem to stay in my head. It's just very different somehow. Want it to become ingrained. Not sure what it is about it.
Monday, March 4, 2013
"Who are you? Are you on Plantain?"
Late in the night a dream. A person trying to survive who is on the edge.... The next night another dream about the same person. The next day I take a short nap at lunchtime and she tells me
What are the "afflictions"? Constantly seeing the suffering. The death all around. The desolation and emptiness. Seeing the lizard brain beneath. Elfin amongst the orcs. Socialist vegan amongst the capitalist omni's. Is that both of their afflictions? That they are remnants of a dying race mixed in amongst a vile species? Half orcs whom were the products of rape. The half orcs raped again until there is nothing left of the original race except some orcs with a bit of their ancestry.
But whatever. They see. Why are the miserable? And how miserable? Alone. Consumed with the sense of wrongness around them. (Smothered Hope-SP-everybody knows it's wrong) I suppose primarily about food.
Orc society. Factory farming descriptions.
He sees into their minds. Locked in small enclosures. Standing in their own shit. Fed food that makes their stomach ache. Down an assembly line one by one to their deaths. They're bipedal and sentient.
Every meal has meat in it. The baby is killed, the mother is locked in a small chamber and her milk is taken. The baby is cooked in her milk. Every meal they eat it. Grease seeps from the pores of their skin constantly. The alpha males have sex with about 4 women on average while the other men take turns with prostitutes, hoping they'll one day become an alpha.
No male may be with a "respectable" woman alone. Because what could occur but sex?
Yesmen surround those with power. Fear is constant. Those who fear let off steam by making others fear. Fun is about the shit rolling down hill. Fun is abusing a prostitute. Fun is rape. They really want it anyway. Otherwise there is a steady supply of alcohol, gambling, blood sport. No one reads. Virtually no one makes music. Cept maybe some simplistic rap.
Dystopia. Stuck in it. That is a misery. Not the only one. But a good one, I suppose.
One needn't overdo dytopia though. Need not be orcs and constant rape. Reality can work fine for a "properly sensitive" mind.
And such a mind, sensitive enough to eventually develop a telepathic link, such a level of dystopia may be a bit much.
Nah, it's fine.
This setting must be told within a plot. And personally I dislike when characters dreams are shared in a story. Does the sensitivity only float to the top while sleeping? What is he thinking while awake? His actions must conform in order to survive. How do we know how miserable he is in such a world? What can we show? His revulsion at the food. His refusal to take part in the rape. His dislike of the bloodsports. He is made fun of for being so moopy and for being "weird". For not taking part in the usual fun. But ultimately left alone because, although not heavy, he is very large and fights well.
--
What are the bloodsports?
What creatures are eaten?
Prostitution is illegal. It can't be easily readily available. Because the non-alphas must have a carrot. A very very few women in trying to not starve to death will sell themselves for next to nothing. Often end up killed as a result. The vast majority of women are dressed in burkas. And sit at home. Their opinions silenced. These few women have angered some alpha and been kicked out. They rarely survive for long. Officially rape is wrong. But generally if alone, even policemen will rape. Everyone is lying. They all pretend to something.
Rape is wrong. But rampantly committed always because she really wanted it. A woman alone? She wanted it. But if rape is that rampant then no need for prostitution and is their sufficient carrot to become an alpha male?????
This absurdity is the stuff for better or worse.
----
But is this beautiful? Is there anything about all this that would make me personally want to come back to it day after day as I try to write it?
No!!!
Not remotely. There is nothing positive here.
And that of course, is the problem with dystopia. It's not just somehow making it readable. It's even personally being able to stand spending so much time there one's self.
I need a world that has beauty. That I'd like to actually go to. At the same time that it has strife....
Late in the night a dream. A person trying to survive who is on the edge.... The next night another dream about the same person. The next day I take a short nap at lunchtime and she tells me
What are the "afflictions"? Constantly seeing the suffering. The death all around. The desolation and emptiness. Seeing the lizard brain beneath. Elfin amongst the orcs. Socialist vegan amongst the capitalist omni's. Is that both of their afflictions? That they are remnants of a dying race mixed in amongst a vile species? Half orcs whom were the products of rape. The half orcs raped again until there is nothing left of the original race except some orcs with a bit of their ancestry.
But whatever. They see. Why are the miserable? And how miserable? Alone. Consumed with the sense of wrongness around them. (Smothered Hope-SP-everybody knows it's wrong) I suppose primarily about food.
Orc society. Factory farming descriptions.
He sees into their minds. Locked in small enclosures. Standing in their own shit. Fed food that makes their stomach ache. Down an assembly line one by one to their deaths. They're bipedal and sentient.
Every meal has meat in it. The baby is killed, the mother is locked in a small chamber and her milk is taken. The baby is cooked in her milk. Every meal they eat it. Grease seeps from the pores of their skin constantly. The alpha males have sex with about 4 women on average while the other men take turns with prostitutes, hoping they'll one day become an alpha.
No male may be with a "respectable" woman alone. Because what could occur but sex?
Yesmen surround those with power. Fear is constant. Those who fear let off steam by making others fear. Fun is about the shit rolling down hill. Fun is abusing a prostitute. Fun is rape. They really want it anyway. Otherwise there is a steady supply of alcohol, gambling, blood sport. No one reads. Virtually no one makes music. Cept maybe some simplistic rap.
Dystopia. Stuck in it. That is a misery. Not the only one. But a good one, I suppose.
One needn't overdo dytopia though. Need not be orcs and constant rape. Reality can work fine for a "properly sensitive" mind.
And such a mind, sensitive enough to eventually develop a telepathic link, such a level of dystopia may be a bit much.
Nah, it's fine.
This setting must be told within a plot. And personally I dislike when characters dreams are shared in a story. Does the sensitivity only float to the top while sleeping? What is he thinking while awake? His actions must conform in order to survive. How do we know how miserable he is in such a world? What can we show? His revulsion at the food. His refusal to take part in the rape. His dislike of the bloodsports. He is made fun of for being so moopy and for being "weird". For not taking part in the usual fun. But ultimately left alone because, although not heavy, he is very large and fights well.
--
What are the bloodsports?
What creatures are eaten?
Prostitution is illegal. It can't be easily readily available. Because the non-alphas must have a carrot. A very very few women in trying to not starve to death will sell themselves for next to nothing. Often end up killed as a result. The vast majority of women are dressed in burkas. And sit at home. Their opinions silenced. These few women have angered some alpha and been kicked out. They rarely survive for long. Officially rape is wrong. But generally if alone, even policemen will rape. Everyone is lying. They all pretend to something.
Rape is wrong. But rampantly committed always because she really wanted it. A woman alone? She wanted it. But if rape is that rampant then no need for prostitution and is their sufficient carrot to become an alpha male?????
This absurdity is the stuff for better or worse.
----
But is this beautiful? Is there anything about all this that would make me personally want to come back to it day after day as I try to write it?
No!!!
Not remotely. There is nothing positive here.
And that of course, is the problem with dystopia. It's not just somehow making it readable. It's even personally being able to stand spending so much time there one's self.
I need a world that has beauty. That I'd like to actually go to. At the same time that it has strife....
In the ruined abandoned remains of a once magnificent city a ghost sobs forever. Somehow tied to Worlock-SP.
Had this story idea of person like in a concentration camp or something torturous who somehow develops some strange possibly pyschic connections with someone
That other relates back to SP's Glass Houses. The red plain. He must be doing something there. I suppose he's trying to not starve to death or get killed. He's not human. Anymore
A ghost, I suppose, invisible I guess. Such pain that like the chronic pain sufferers he's sort of zombiefied. And he's trying to return to the world. By some painstaking difficult process.
----
Taking break from running as right knee just isn't right. Really wonder if I tore a ligament long ago. But perhaps I've increased my mileage too much considering running for only a few years and being a big guy. I fear the lack of an adequate diversion.
Had this story idea of person like in a concentration camp or something torturous who somehow develops some strange possibly pyschic connections with someone
That other relates back to SP's Glass Houses. The red plain. He must be doing something there. I suppose he's trying to not starve to death or get killed. He's not human. Anymore
A ghost, I suppose, invisible I guess. Such pain that like the chronic pain sufferers he's sort of zombiefied. And he's trying to return to the world. By some painstaking difficult process.
----
Taking break from running as right knee just isn't right. Really wonder if I tore a ligament long ago. But perhaps I've increased my mileage too much considering running for only a few years and being a big guy. I fear the lack of an adequate diversion.
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