Alcohol is now triggering headaches, also long hard runs make me more susceptible. Just one to two drinks is so good for my mental outlook. Stops me from thinking too hard. Stops me from seeing the big picture too clearly. Keeps me myopic. Keeps me focusing on meaningless diversions.

Without it I'm feeling very lonely.

The only person I really have interesting conversations with is my cello teacher. Bizarrely I don't even know anyone who likes reading sci fi / fantasy. What few people I occasionally do something with, I don't really have enough in common with to warrant being close enough to, to mean very much to me.

Without friends, life is meaningless.