From the point of view of a crude barbarian, who's life consists generally of killing and being killed, the industrialized world is a shining heavenly utopia. To an angel though, the industrialized world is a dystopian pile of rotting corpse.
The angel wants to destroy it. The barbarian just thinks the angel is nuts. The angel wants to destroy relationships because they're all hollow anyway. And because apparently things need to get worse in order for there to be any chance of them getting better. Destroy all the light/hollow friendships. Remove all pretense of friendliness. Don't give people anything positive to hold on to, because all such is just lies. All such just takes away from The Truth. This world is dead, empty, meaningless, banal, pointless. This world must be destroyed.
But it doesn't need destroyed because it's already in the process of being destroyed. But the dying may take centuries. And during the long drawn out process of dying we are in a meaningless time, in meaningless lives.
Speed up the dying?
No. Because most likely what comes next will be even uglier and will also take centuries. There is nothing for it but that life is meaningless and empty. It is now and it still will be 40 years from now.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Insomnia tonight. Been awhile. I guess a bit of light weightlifting must have been at least primarily responsible. I called off work. First day missing work in 8 months, so don't feel too bad. I used to have insomnia so much. For decades actually. It was awful. I don't know how I survived. ...oh yes, now I remember. I invented an evil god that was trying to kill me, whom I would live on just to spite. Oi vey. It was really bad. Although went to that extreme for more than just the insomnia.
But now I know how to not have insomnia. Don't lift weights! Seems ridiculous. But so it is.... So must give thanks for knowing what I have to do, to basically never have insomnia. Think of that. And not feel so bad about tonight.
But now I know how to not have insomnia. Don't lift weights! Seems ridiculous. But so it is.... So must give thanks for knowing what I have to do, to basically never have insomnia. Think of that. And not feel so bad about tonight.
Sabriel by Garth Nix
Written in an aesthically pleasing way. Seems like it was written by a woman despite the name "Garth". Not much injustice at all. Sabriel does have aces up the sleeve. In some ways very very nice, but I guess I don't feel very close to Sabriel and there isn't really any other characters... The cat? Eh. A bit too action packed as of 40%. Just constant running from one life/death scene to the next or, "Garth" switches to telling instead of showing. But, it's a sort of page turner...
Written in an aesthically pleasing way. Seems like it was written by a woman despite the name "Garth". Not much injustice at all. Sabriel does have aces up the sleeve. In some ways very very nice, but I guess I don't feel very close to Sabriel and there isn't really any other characters... The cat? Eh. A bit too action packed as of 40%. Just constant running from one life/death scene to the next or, "Garth" switches to telling instead of showing. But, it's a sort of page turner...
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Did 2.5/2 14 mile interval run yesterday. For a while had been doing shorter, higher intensity runs. In part because of my right knee feeling off. I would have thought they would work better but it certainly seems as if they haven't. Higher volume sessions just feel like they work better.... So going back to two very high volume interval sessions per week.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
The Tyranny of the Night: Book One of the Instrumentalities of the Night by Glen Cook
Number 5 on the 25 best fantasy list but I guess I read the wrong one. This is like a history lesson, just droning on, telling not showing, going on and on about a fantasy world, the politics. It's not interesting. The reviews say it just goes on and on. It seems only people who loved his previous work managed to even put it with it. I guess I could read the Black Company but this military stuff just completely turns me off. I don't want to hear about battle after battle and I don't want to hear about people who have the typical military mindset. And that's what it is to be military fantasy fiction. Lord of the Rings has tons of battles and a group of armed men running around, that doesn't make it military fantasy fiction. Also the Black Company is only available as an audio book.
Number 5 on the 25 best fantasy list but I guess I read the wrong one. This is like a history lesson, just droning on, telling not showing, going on and on about a fantasy world, the politics. It's not interesting. The reviews say it just goes on and on. It seems only people who loved his previous work managed to even put it with it. I guess I could read the Black Company but this military stuff just completely turns me off. I don't want to hear about battle after battle and I don't want to hear about people who have the typical military mindset. And that's what it is to be military fantasy fiction. Lord of the Rings has tons of battles and a group of armed men running around, that doesn't make it military fantasy fiction. Also the Black Company is only available as an audio book.
Twins: And What They Tell Us About Who We Are by Lawrence Wright
They seem to tell us that we're almost entirely genetics, not very much environment. Separated at birth twins end up the same, and more so, the older they get. For that matter adopted children end up like their biological parents and not like their adoptive parents, and again, more so, the older they get. This is concerning personality, IQ, crmininality, etc. African Americans that are adopted by white familes end up with the same IQ as other African Americans (which is markedly lower than the average, thanks to hundreds of years of slavery natural selection.)
IQ and personality are almost entirely the result of genetics. Short of horrific abuse/neglect it just doesn't matter how you're brought up. Religion is genetic. Although the particular dogma you choose depends on which dogma you were indoctrinated into. Sexual preference is at least somewhat genetic. Although there is for this (and all others) the question of differences in the womb environment.
Divorce is largely genetic. Racism. Closemindedness. Musical talent.
Who you marry isn't. That's mostly just chance. At least to the extent they've studied it. Because we all can really get it on with a ton of very different people you know.
But what if twins aren't actually a good experiment for nature versus nuture? What if they're telepathic with each other and that's the real reason separated twins are still so much alike? CIA experiment. Close open eyes on command. See if other twins alpha wave rhythms also changed. 2 out of 13 twin sets showed "the results they were looking for". No unrelated subjects did.
But what about adopted children still eventually ending up like their biological parents? (Did they also have a telepathic link? What if you killed the parents........)
These are mostly awful results. They suggest eugenics, racism, etc. And so they have been attacked. The scientists have been attacked. Cyril Burt had his reputation destroyed after he died. He had concluded IQ was almost entirely genetic based on decades of twin data. Eventually his work was completely discounted. Later Minnesota studies that haven't been discounted at all ended up with almost the exact same conclusion on IQ/genetics.
Schizophrenia is only half genetic, as is alcoholism. Respiratory diseases and some cancers are almost entirely environmental. Smoking, insomnia, career, hobbies, coffee consumption and suicide are all highly genetic. (But if smoking is genetic... than you've just made your environment...) Criminality is more than twice as much the result of genetics than of environment.
There are plenty criticizing these conclusions but they're not convincing. Apparently liberals can be dishonest too. On the bright side, if you've had some awful things in your life, or your parents were kind of duds, perhaps you're mistaken in thinking it really mattered. Perhaps with better parents you still would be a nobody and you should just not worry about it, about any of it.
This book was written more than ten years ago. I'm not aware of any eugenics programs starting up since. We seem to still be well on our way to an idiocracy. Because you know this is the end of mankind. Before reading this book I vaguely thought we're 75% genetics for most things. It was a conservative estimate on my part based on my own observations/anecdotal evidence. Safe now to ramp that up quite a bit. I won't bother trying to get my dumbass 8 year old nephew to play music or read a book. By now he would already have been doing so if he had it in him at all. You can give people nudges, and make things available to them, but if they don't got it, there's no point in going on about it.
They seem to tell us that we're almost entirely genetics, not very much environment. Separated at birth twins end up the same, and more so, the older they get. For that matter adopted children end up like their biological parents and not like their adoptive parents, and again, more so, the older they get. This is concerning personality, IQ, crmininality, etc. African Americans that are adopted by white familes end up with the same IQ as other African Americans (which is markedly lower than the average, thanks to hundreds of years of slavery natural selection.)
IQ and personality are almost entirely the result of genetics. Short of horrific abuse/neglect it just doesn't matter how you're brought up. Religion is genetic. Although the particular dogma you choose depends on which dogma you were indoctrinated into. Sexual preference is at least somewhat genetic. Although there is for this (and all others) the question of differences in the womb environment.
Divorce is largely genetic. Racism. Closemindedness. Musical talent.
Who you marry isn't. That's mostly just chance. At least to the extent they've studied it. Because we all can really get it on with a ton of very different people you know.
But what if twins aren't actually a good experiment for nature versus nuture? What if they're telepathic with each other and that's the real reason separated twins are still so much alike? CIA experiment. Close open eyes on command. See if other twins alpha wave rhythms also changed. 2 out of 13 twin sets showed "the results they were looking for". No unrelated subjects did.
But what about adopted children still eventually ending up like their biological parents? (Did they also have a telepathic link? What if you killed the parents........)
These are mostly awful results. They suggest eugenics, racism, etc. And so they have been attacked. The scientists have been attacked. Cyril Burt had his reputation destroyed after he died. He had concluded IQ was almost entirely genetic based on decades of twin data. Eventually his work was completely discounted. Later Minnesota studies that haven't been discounted at all ended up with almost the exact same conclusion on IQ/genetics.
Schizophrenia is only half genetic, as is alcoholism. Respiratory diseases and some cancers are almost entirely environmental. Smoking, insomnia, career, hobbies, coffee consumption and suicide are all highly genetic. (But if smoking is genetic... than you've just made your environment...) Criminality is more than twice as much the result of genetics than of environment.
There are plenty criticizing these conclusions but they're not convincing. Apparently liberals can be dishonest too. On the bright side, if you've had some awful things in your life, or your parents were kind of duds, perhaps you're mistaken in thinking it really mattered. Perhaps with better parents you still would be a nobody and you should just not worry about it, about any of it.
This book was written more than ten years ago. I'm not aware of any eugenics programs starting up since. We seem to still be well on our way to an idiocracy. Because you know this is the end of mankind. Before reading this book I vaguely thought we're 75% genetics for most things. It was a conservative estimate on my part based on my own observations/anecdotal evidence. Safe now to ramp that up quite a bit. I won't bother trying to get my dumbass 8 year old nephew to play music or read a book. By now he would already have been doing so if he had it in him at all. You can give people nudges, and make things available to them, but if they don't got it, there's no point in going on about it.
Finished Soliders of Paradise by Paul Park.
It just kind of fell apart. Once we left the antinomials POV it was downhill. Abu and the doctor, one never felt close at all to them. They were emotionless. It became increasingly random and everything just falling apart. The whole society collapsing and who cares? Just blah. Pointless and meaningless story ultimately.
It just kind of fell apart. Once we left the antinomials POV it was downhill. Abu and the doctor, one never felt close at all to them. They were emotionless. It became increasingly random and everything just falling apart. The whole society collapsing and who cares? Just blah. Pointless and meaningless story ultimately.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Solider of Paradise by Paul Park
73% in and like in a review, it is hard to care at all about any of the characters. They're too distant. And the way withholding some details at the beginning made the story more interesting is ultimately just making the book feel a bit vague/not very rich. Not a rich detailed world. So unfortunately I just don't care about this story. Anyway the prince Abu cares about the 'antinomials' who are being decimated. The antinomials are not too impressive in a lot of ways. Meat eaters and very stupid in most ways. At the same time the "civilized" people are highly unimpressive also. Extreme theocracy, highly dogmatic, highly hierarchial, great inequality. Slavery, racism, etc. Meanwhile thinking it called 'biting' by the antinomials. Their main worthwhile quality seems to be that they're excellent at music. I suppose everyone is awful really, in this book. And there's got to be some people that you really like in a book. I guess Abu and the doctor, but both just barely.
And no ace's up anybody's sleeve. And it doesn't appear the injustice is ever going to be overcome. And again, inadequate setting detail.
73% in and like in a review, it is hard to care at all about any of the characters. They're too distant. And the way withholding some details at the beginning made the story more interesting is ultimately just making the book feel a bit vague/not very rich. Not a rich detailed world. So unfortunately I just don't care about this story. Anyway the prince Abu cares about the 'antinomials' who are being decimated. The antinomials are not too impressive in a lot of ways. Meat eaters and very stupid in most ways. At the same time the "civilized" people are highly unimpressive also. Extreme theocracy, highly dogmatic, highly hierarchial, great inequality. Slavery, racism, etc. Meanwhile thinking it called 'biting' by the antinomials. Their main worthwhile quality seems to be that they're excellent at music. I suppose everyone is awful really, in this book. And there's got to be some people that you really like in a book. I guess Abu and the doctor, but both just barely.
And no ace's up anybody's sleeve. And it doesn't appear the injustice is ever going to be overcome. And again, inadequate setting detail.
Did 2/3's at the track today. I've made pitifully little improvement it seems in this area. Way back in summer did quarters just under 90 seconds. Not much difference now. This is what I need to improve on. Provided my right knee can handle it. No interval shorter than 3 minutes in last month because right knee couldn't handle it. Was feeling better but after today I can again feel it just a bit.
My back has been feeling very good last few weeks. And I mean it doesn't hurt in the morning from sleeping wrong. It hasn't been hurting at all. This again coincides with slower running. Slower running may just be better for my back and knees. But it means not getting faster.
Also been doing one arm dumbbell swings. No ab work lately. And riding an exercise bike while standing as upright as possible.
My back has been feeling very good last few weeks. And I mean it doesn't hurt in the morning from sleeping wrong. It hasn't been hurting at all. This again coincides with slower running. Slower running may just be better for my back and knees. But it means not getting faster.
Also been doing one arm dumbbell swings. No ab work lately. And riding an exercise bike while standing as upright as possible.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Metal halide lamp is a bit of a fail. Cannot grow tomato plants. They all died. I think in part it got too hot for them? But at the same time wasn't enough sun energy. Catnip is about dead too. For the hell of it I tried some broccoli seeds and the same.
The lemon seeds came up nice but are just in stasis. And if I don't water a couple times a day, they quickly start wilting. The blueberry sprouts also going nowhere. And now the blackberry sprouts probably the same.
The papyrus plant is growing.
Been moving things to the window downstairs that gets some sunlight. It doesn't get a lot of sunlight as my state is very very dreary in the winter. But shall see if it manages better than the metal halide lamp. I guess though if I keep the window wide open to cool them down, while also putting the lamp much closer perhaps that might do some good....
The lemon seeds came up nice but are just in stasis. And if I don't water a couple times a day, they quickly start wilting. The blueberry sprouts also going nowhere. And now the blackberry sprouts probably the same.
The papyrus plant is growing.
Been moving things to the window downstairs that gets some sunlight. It doesn't get a lot of sunlight as my state is very very dreary in the winter. But shall see if it manages better than the metal halide lamp. I guess though if I keep the window wide open to cool them down, while also putting the lamp much closer perhaps that might do some good....
Friday, December 9, 2011
The Etched City by KJ Bishop
Finished this now. Afterwards read a review that also did call it 'decadent'. For about 25% or so near the end it turned into an actual story. Not enough of a story though. Bishop's first novel. I would move onto others even if it wasn't though.
Now reading Paul Park. His depiction of the antinomials is the best I think I've ever seen of an alternate sentient species. One wonders if they're neanderthals, or some alternate universe where neanderthals didn't die out, but we don't know, and it's good not to. Are vegetarians a sort of just normal man? Or are they like dwarves? Not enough info to know and that's good. But extreme depth of antinomials different way of thinking/perceiving.
Finished this now. Afterwards read a review that also did call it 'decadent'. For about 25% or so near the end it turned into an actual story. Not enough of a story though. Bishop's first novel. I would move onto others even if it wasn't though.
Now reading Paul Park. His depiction of the antinomials is the best I think I've ever seen of an alternate sentient species. One wonders if they're neanderthals, or some alternate universe where neanderthals didn't die out, but we don't know, and it's good not to. Are vegetarians a sort of just normal man? Or are they like dwarves? Not enough info to know and that's good. But extreme depth of antinomials different way of thinking/perceiving.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Ran first half mile in 3:03 through tunnel. Which has a slight incline. That's best so far. Knee still is OK. Still ought to see a doctor. Still haven't. Onwards!
Very, very cold. With gloves on could barely move hands after just 3 miles out and back of a 3/4. Reduced mileage thanks to knee and cold weather. Then exercise bike simulating running motion as close as possible for a bit more.
An olympic finalist in the 5k at work seems to have singled me out to speak to, to be friendly to, though I rarely see her. Of course I have reason to find her interesting. But I don't know how really to talk to people I only rarely see. Usually quite awkward. Even more so with someone who's slightly famous. Wouldn't want to bore her by talking about running, as she probably always has people talking to her about running.
But that's exactly what I want to talk about. So, oh well.
Very, very cold. With gloves on could barely move hands after just 3 miles out and back of a 3/4. Reduced mileage thanks to knee and cold weather. Then exercise bike simulating running motion as close as possible for a bit more.
An olympic finalist in the 5k at work seems to have singled me out to speak to, to be friendly to, though I rarely see her. Of course I have reason to find her interesting. But I don't know how really to talk to people I only rarely see. Usually quite awkward. Even more so with someone who's slightly famous. Wouldn't want to bore her by talking about running, as she probably always has people talking to her about running.
But that's exactly what I want to talk about. So, oh well.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
The Etched City by KJ Bishop
55% in and I'm not quite sure what the plot is really. It's Gwynn and Raule, whom aren't really even having anything to do with each other and both are just living. No particular goal in mind. No particular task that must be accomplished. Gwynn is just enjoying life. Works for the slave trade, enjoying his gf, the red haired painter. Raule is an underpaid doctor, takes care of the poor in this brutal city.
I like it though. Like the detail. I wouldn't mind at all though if it started actually going somewhere in particular instead of seeming so random. I suppose the lack of a plot and all the detail makes it really decadent, which is good. I guess you could say it's a real, the world is over, hooray! kind of book.
55% in and I'm not quite sure what the plot is really. It's Gwynn and Raule, whom aren't really even having anything to do with each other and both are just living. No particular goal in mind. No particular task that must be accomplished. Gwynn is just enjoying life. Works for the slave trade, enjoying his gf, the red haired painter. Raule is an underpaid doctor, takes care of the poor in this brutal city.
I like it though. Like the detail. I wouldn't mind at all though if it started actually going somewhere in particular instead of seeming so random. I suppose the lack of a plot and all the detail makes it really decadent, which is good. I guess you could say it's a real, the world is over, hooray! kind of book.
The vibrato on the cello does need to be in time with the music. Teacher didn't know. Or didn't remember she said. I couldn't tell by listening but I'm good enough at vibrato now that I can feel it. Started Bloch's Prayer which at least is a decent song, finally.
Lack of enough good songs caused me to lsoe interest in piano. I've continued on with cello despite same issue because I've invested quite a bit of my money now. Not so easy to quit.
Lack of enough good songs caused me to lsoe interest in piano. I've continued on with cello despite same issue because I've invested quite a bit of my money now. Not so easy to quit.
Back and forth on my right knee. It's permanently injured. But usually I can still run OK. I should see a doctor. But they're all such crap. It was great for yesterday's run and feels pretty good today. But twisting motions are a problem.
Ran first 3 minutes yesterday one single light short of 3 miles. Doing 3/4's. Really want to get under 3 minutes for half a mile. Then a bike, simulating the running motion as close as possible.
Ran first 3 minutes yesterday one single light short of 3 miles. Doing 3/4's. Really want to get under 3 minutes for half a mile. Then a bike, simulating the running motion as close as possible.
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