Played owners son and won first set 6-0 and lost second 7-6. Think the primary issue is that my legs got tired and I stand to upright. Need to get lower. Try to have legs twice shoulder width apart even. Need to practice that. Along with continuing to use a super heavy practice racquet (17 ounces at the moment while just using 12.5 in matches). And double continental grip. Tried the topspin forehand a lot last night and just too many unforced errors. Think flattening it out with double continental is probably better for me. Although maybe with better footwork that wouldn't be the case, who knows.
Also want to eventually add in ankle weights when practicing with ball machine. And the wall may not be as fun but in some ways it's better than a ball machine.

Stopped reading Frostborn by Jonathan Moeller on book 5 or 6. Hero blames self for wife's death, which seems a bit stupid. I mean I suppose subconsciously someone could really do that. And communicating the subconscious in a story is very very hard. So they instead just belabour the point to death and it's a bit stupid.

The Runner and The Wizard by Dave Duncan is definitely not his best. He really does a good beginning though. Definitely not the Great Game or a Man of his Word. Completely devoid of magic and quite short. Goes to get a guy to help the Thane keep his power. Meh.

If only I could do a better job of discerning when someone is stupid enough that I ought to avoid their company. Sometimes I have known and just not been able to help myself though. A job as an engineer/scientist at Los Alamos National Laboratory just seemed too good to pass up. A few other times something similar. A few times it was a lady that was just too damn attractive to me such that I so wanted to convince myself otherwise. Sometimes they were relatives I was just stuck with. A few times it was that or just be completely alone. Sometimes I had no way to get away short of doing something drastic.

And ultimately these people have been the cause of all my life's misery.

It was easy to dismiss Kathryn Creek. Never dwelled on her because she was so clearly crazy/stupid. So very clearly. There was nothing there for one to reason with. But I can't dismiss S. Just can't successfully do it for good. I can manage it here and there but I always come back around to the same place. Yes I watched her mistakenly demonize so many people. Yes, she doesn't know herself at all and can't admit any failings about herself.

Reasons to dismiss a person:
1. They're totally fucking crazy.
2. They're really stupid.
3. They can't admit to any shortcomings and don't react well to ever being told they're wrong about anything.
4. They're really really bad at judging people and default to demonizing others.

Blah blah blah blah. No easy formula easily devised.

I know of one/two people I should give more of my time. The rest? Avoid! Well, C White who deactivated his facebook. Roland. Megan the olympian but nothing will come of that. And Cara the neurosurgeon. Unlikely anything will come of that. I think back to working on the floor as a nurse. Damn they were all kind of stupid really. Like really fucking stupid. Wrong unit I guess.

Terrible post but I don't care. Caused a temporary abatement at least..

Annoyed that I can't just finally decide on a grip. On the backhand definitely double eastern forehand grip. On the forehand I had some pretty good success with top hand eastern forehand and bottom semiwestern. I played a girl who actually won a set off me. (She could have played professionally but didn't try due to a shoulder issue). Anyway we split sets and she won the second when she just hit this wicked slice to my forehand. With the easter/semiwestern I was having trouble getting underneath it. May also have been fatiguing mentally or something. I've been losing the second set against a ton of people. But anyway I can hit a great drive with a eastern forehand/semiwestern including crosscourt. The slice isn't as great but I guess it's OK. The problem is the top hand gets in an awkward position when hitting topspin and the tendons in the wrist straight down from my thumb were hurting very very slightly today. So I decided to go back to continental/semiwestern. I had stopped doing it because it seemed like I wasn't accurate when going crosscourt. But perhaps I just had a bad day or two. Today outside it was.... meh. Not terrible. Though not great. But I definitely don't want to develop an injury. Nor do I want to have to play less often to avoid one.

I hope that once and for all, this will be the final grip change. I have been changing grips for like the last two years now. No more changing my grip to try to improve. Moving on to footwork stuff. Planning on buying a more expensive ball machine with horizontal oscillation and topspin/backspin. Just need to get better at moving around as I'm hitting. That and better serve placement. Also I'm bored to tears with jogging so want to get a workout with the horizontal oscillation of the silent partner instead.

Not that it remotely matters but I found this woman extremely attractive because she was almost exactly like S in her mannerisms, her way of talking, and even her body was really similar. But she was black and half a foot taller which makes it a little weird. Really her voice, her smile....

Anyway if she hadn't injured her shoulder she surely would have been a successful pro. Has a forehand like Serena. Was crushing my second serve like no one I've ever played before.