Beat H. Yu, the 5 ranked player in the league 6-2, 6-3 today. Still thought I played ridiculously bad. One handed topspin backhand just isn't working. Actually seemed not too bad when warming up by then never really used it during the match and afterward tried to use it while we played a few extra games and it sucked.

This guy lobbed and lobbed and seeing as I haven't practiced an overhead in many months, it's not surprising my overheads weren't very good. Also my net play wasn't very good. Still won easily I guess. Nobody in this entire league hits with much pace.

So adopted children match the IQ's of their adoptee families more closely than their biological parents when they are still living with their adoptee family. When they get out on their own, they end up reverting back to whatever their biologicals were, or more exactly they go off toward whatever their own DNA combo from their parents makes them. Which can be quite different of course from what their parents were.

I think that of course this can work both ways. The family you're stuck with can bring you down also and once you get out on your own you can slowly turn it around to some extent. Think this happened with me, though it took a while. My mom and stepfather were a huge negative for me and it took many years of being mostly away from them for me to rise up more or less to my potential.

So, when I look back at my childhood and who I was, how I related to other children, etc, it's all a bunch of shit. My father was extremely eccentric in his interactions thus I never learned how to interact with others. But worse, I lived in constant fear of him, his violent outbursts, his whole mindset of trying to beat me into being just like him, while having no ability to comprehend who I actually was.

In effect I have a lost childhood. A childhood full almost solely of negative memories. Which means I want to just forget it. But it's my foundation. And to the extent I forget my childhood, I wonder what that does to me. I find myself forgetting in general and wonder if it will lead to early althzeimers(sp).

I caught some kind of flu thing. Had fever, coughing, etc, first time in many years. 5 days of azithromycin didn't work. Now finishing up levaquin. Wonder why I got sick after so many years of not being sick. Was stressed by trailer park half sister. Wondering if sleeping with my head by the papyrus plant....? Playing the melodica at trailer park half sister's house with all those kids. Who knows. Finally feeling better.

But Jo also caught it. Ten days of amoxicillin didn't work for her. Now they have her on azithromycin and albuterol. Worry about her being 8 months pregnant and so sick.

Went back to an exercise and eating program the primary goal of which is to sleep well as while being sick felt like I was starting to have sleep issues. So, at least 20 minutes on the elliptical with at least a 25 pounds pack 5 days a week (may gradually add weight and go slightly longer on weekends) followed by some running. The running I've decided to stop running on my heels. So trying to slowly build that up. It does feel better, but have to run pretty consistent to avoid calf soreness.

Number 2 in my tennis league now. Expect to reach number 1 next time I play the one guy ahead of me... Starting weighting all my racquets to at least 14 ounces. Have found tennis elbow goes away then, at least when playing with soft strings (natural gut or NXT). Now want to experiment with kevlar (18 ashaway) in a 14 ounce racquet. Probably serving at least will make my elbow hurt a bit. But possibly I can eventually move up to 15 or more ounces and be OK.

Like the 6.1 prostaff stretch best. The extender ripstick and thunderstick are a bit hard to manuver(sp) although I'm sure with practice I'd get used to them. But really prefer 6.1 stretch. lendl kniesel is nice. And have to mess around some more with prince graphite classic longbody with the extra weight added.

I have a tape reverb effect that I think sounds better for reverb than others. I really need to look into different reverb though. This I think has stopped my music dead. All I've ever used was free stuff. Have always suspected it makes a bigger difference than so much else. Just didn't want to put the money into it....

Pulled out bipolar murder music and bajskorv. Both really damn good. Missed them. Too bad the people behind the music aren't very smart.Need to fix up my reverb issue and try again to write somewhat similar music.

Still trying to get a hammered dulcimer stand.

Still reading the Cycle of Arawn trilogy. I can't stand the "humorous" banter between Blays and Dante. Also Mourn and Lira are barely there. Narashtovik has nowhere near enough detail. Why am I still reading this?

How for me to be happy:
1. Be myopic-mostly keep a narrow focus, keep distracted by little things like playing the cello, a sport, reading a book.
2. Selective forgetting-wake each day and forget the repetitive nature of life and all the ugly things that have happened and are going to happen again and again.
3. Find a way to get outside, even in the dead of winter
4. Limit your time spent with people who:
A. can't be reasoned with
B. don't understand you
C. don't actually like you
5. Without breaking #4, spend a good deal of time worrying about the happiness of other people, even if 4 applies to them
6. Lots of fruit smoothies and broccoli

I added two strips of duct tape from 4 to 8 along the top of my stretch 6.1 prostaff and my tennis elbow lessened (it was not much to begin with, but pretty much altogether gone now). I had been afraid of doing such a thing because it makes the racquet relatively headheavy and that is supposed to cause tennis elbow. Wrong.

A heavier racquet reduces tennis elbow and it's a far more important factor than head light vs head heavy. Adding mass always reduces tennis elbow no matter if it's all put at the very top of the racquet. Head light vs head heavy only matters if you are talking about two equal weight racquets (and I guess with equal stiffness).

Realizing this makes me reconsider the extender ripstick, (as does buying another stretch 6.1 prostaff that is shorter than my current 27 and 5/8 as opposed to 27 and 7/8ths).

I've ordered a postal scale. I want to weight all my racquets to a bare minimum of 14 ounces. Probably will go a bit heavier than that.So the ripstick is only 9 ounces unweighted. I already added nails/cotton in the handle.

The extra weight on the hoop really helps the serve. Makes it harder to get around on balls hit with pace. Though not many people put so much pace and I already just chip serves back and in general hit a lot of slices.

I beat the #2 ranked player 6-4, 4-6 (9-7) (Jake E) this week. I served and volleyed a lot and sliced a lot. Previously he beat me 6-0, 6-2. In that match I tried to hit tons of topspin throughout and hit tons of erros. In this match I still hit a ton of bad errors. Net game could be a lot better. And he kept chipping short balls barely over the net. I should have managed better with them. I expect I'll beat him worse in the future. Also my serve wasn't very good. Was trying to hit the first flat/slice, no topspin and first serve percentage was maybe 20%. Need to hit topspin on all serves.

Barring injury I should be ranked one in this league soon. Up to 5 now. It put me in a good mood beating this guy after doing so bad last time. Discounting injury and my first match in a decade, I've only lost to one guy (that I didn't come back and beat later) in 4 or 5 months. That would be the top ranked player and I wasn't using my stretch 6.1 against him. Was using the Prince Graphite Classic Longbody unweighted. And I didn't have enough on the serve. Also I wasn't rushing the net much. (Hadn't started weighted elliptical workouts.)

Want to try to play Chameleons on my dulcimer. Caught some kind of sickness. Sore throat, coughing, etc. Haven't had this sort of thing in many, many years. J is much sicker, which is worrisome being almost 8 months pregnant. Reading a good book, Arawn trilogy. Plot is the usual crap but started out with a very detailed world and more 3d characters.